Hush,Hush
by fuzzibunniez
Summary: They move on and apart neither speaking things that should be said, that must be said... until Urahara gives Ichigo a surprise visit with an unusual problem. Ura/FemIchi. Rated M for mature themes, language, some angst but will be offset by humor.
1. Reunion

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

A Kisuke/FemIchigo fic

Warnings, This will deal with a serious subject matter and have a certain amount of angst which I hope will be offset my some comedy. I hope everyone understands the small portions of Ichigo's character I will be pulling out for this story. No one can argue Ichigo is strong and has courage... I am simply leaning on and exposing possible reactions of the character after losing her powers. Thank you for reading^^

**_ Hush, Hush_**

_**Ah, but let her cover the mark as she will, the pang of it will be always in her heart. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne **_

**_Chapter 1; Reunion_**

"Kurosaki-san~!" Urahara pops through her open window his black haori falling over her face. "Hide me!"

"I have a door you know!"Ichigo barks, yanking the haori off her head and whirling around. "The landlord is going to think I'm shacking up with some guy!" She blinks looking around not seeing his annoying green hat and frowns. "What the hell!" She drops back down into her chair, her mouth wide open in utter confusion.

"I see you are speechless."

"What happened to you?" she tilts her head at the small green and white stripped hat. "You are two feet tall!"

"I-I don't have much time to explain, but it seems there was a little mix-up in my experiment last evening and well..." He snaps shut his hand fans smiling up at her. "I'm five."

"Holy freaking chibi-tan..." Leaning toward the small green clothed boy she lifts the hat off his head with two of her fingers. "You are..." dropping the hat back on his head she turns away from trying to hide the crimson blazing her cheeks. Adorable... Urahara-san looks so totally cute! Clearing her throat she stands up turning her back to him. "I assume you have some brilliant plan to fix yourself?"

"Not really." Kisuke quickly replies noting the tinge of her blush. "Not a clue~."

"What!" She whirls around on one socked foot finding him smiling. "You little-"

"Now, now Kurosaki-san. We don't have time for this." Kisuke hops up on her bed and sits down cross legged. "We have to deal with a bigger problem."

"Which is?" She get a smirk on her face and quickly adds, "Not your size of course. Nothing big about that. HAHA!"

"I am being hunted." he whispers flipping open his hand fan and gazing at her from just beyond the edge. "By..."

"By?" she whispers back, leaning toward him ready to share in the secret.

"Captain Soi Fon." He answers with a tiny smile.

"Ugh, What did you do this time?" Ichigo rolls her eyes hiding the effects of Kisuke's newly acquired cuteness is having on her. _"He is smiling! Kyaa~!"_

"It seems Yoruichi-san is missing and... I'm being wrongfully blamed."

"So... just get Yoruichi-san to tell the cat-stalker she is fine."

"I don't actually know where Yoruichi-san is..." Kisuke pulls off his now miniature floppy hat with a serious gaze at Ichigo. "She sometimes wonders off and doesn't tell me where she is going."

"Not good." She rubs her chin pondering what to do about all this when a knock on her window makes her eyes lift to the split in the curtain. She can make out the very pissed face of Soi Fon and her zanpaktou tapping on the glass. "Shit! Does Soi Fon have radar on you?"

"I'm totally powerless right now, no reiatsu..." He jumps down from the bed to crouch behind Ichigo desk. "She is just guessing I would come here."

"Quick! Get in my closet!" She slides the door open waving her hand inside. "Come on move it short stuff."

"Kurosaki-san, you are concerned for my safety?" He wraps his arms around her leg holding on tight. "I'm so happy!"

"G-Get off me!" She manages to grab him by the back of the shirt and detach the miniature man. Without a thought she tosses him inside the closet shutting the door before Soi Fon slides open her bedroom window jumping inside. "What brings you here Captain Soi Fon?" Ichigo says a little to quickly, a little too loudly.

"I'm looking for _that_ man." she says with a deep scowl, her eyes flicking back and forth in Ichigo's room.

"W-Who would that be?" She replies feigning ignorance.

"Urahara Kisuke." Soi Fon folds her arms in front of her chest. "I know he is here. Just tell me where and I'll get him out of your hair."

"I don't know what you mean?" The captain is clearly insinuating Urahara-san is a burden and that kinda thing pisses her off. Watching the dark haired woman walk near the closet Ichigo leans nonchalantly against the door to block her from opening it.

"Urahara is nothing but a nuisance everywhere he goes and anything he creates, only makes trouble!" Her dark eyes stare at Ichigo as she grows more and more agitated. She knew they had some kind of bond! It's disgusting how he pawns all over Yourichi-san and now Ichigo-chan is covering for him. "Even you have cleaned up after his messes."

"That was two years ago." she replies quietly, her right eye beginning to twitch. "Move on."

"Everything in the winter war, everyone having to suffer and battle was HIS fault. He creates nothing but chaos, and soon as I get my hands on him..." Soi Fon clenches a fist smacking it into her other palm. "I'll-"

"He isn't here." Ichigo says fighting not to curl her lips up in anger. "So get out of my apartment."

Soi Fon's eyebrow lifts from the surprisingly venom laced response she stirred up in Ichigo. So that's how it is with them. Interesting. Stepping back through the second story window she glances over her shoulder at the orange haired substitute shinigami and smiles widely. "You better hope I find Yoruichi-san before I find _him_." With that said she vanishes through the window leaving Ichigo standing in her room with her hands in her pockets.

"Whew." Ichigo exhales a deep breath slumping down to the floor. The closet door slides open and she hears Urahara's feet hit the floor as he jumps down releasing the light switch's string he was dangling on. Hearing the light click off she turns around to see his chibi body hop up on her bed and peek through the red curtains of her window. "I don't sense her. She is gone."

Kisuke peers through the window his face, shrouded by his floppy hat, by sadness. "I'll be going now, Kurosaki-san. I have caused you enough-"

"Tch..." she almost growls, grabbing the back of his jacket and lifting him back down to the bed. "You aren't going anywhere until we figure this out." Oh she is so totally annoyed and bothered. Urahara has never once vanished on her behalf.

"But, Kurosaki-san."

"Why run off now? Because of what Soi Fon said?" Ichigo sits down at her desk tapping her fingertips to the wood surface avoiding his smaller form so she doesn't lose her nerve. "In the end it was you who captured Aizen. Isn't that enough?"

"Is atonement possible for someone like me?" He is being a little more honest then he would like to be with her. His habit of telling her just enough to point her in the right directions for her own answers suddenly feels arrogant and insulting to a woman who gave up so much to help a crisis he caused.

"Never know until you try." She says setting her elbow on the table and leaning her chin to her palm. Listening to his long silence she shuts her eyes and decides that the two of them should finally talk about what happened two years earlier. "If you are thinking 'I used her powers for my own gain' or some shit like that you can just go back to the shoten."

"But Kurosaki-san..." Kisuke looks at his small hands and curls his right fingers into a fist. "You lost your pow-"

"Listen here Chibi-tan!" Standing up she turns toward her small kitchenette in the corner and clears her throat scraping the last of her courage to reply without yelling at him. "We both did what had to be done. End of discussion."

"Your face afterw-"

"I don't miss it! I'm so relieved... I'm happy damn it!" She grabs her bath supplies and and stomps into the small bathroom exhaling a deep breath when the door clicks shut behind her. She is not sad. She doesn't miss it. She doesn't think about it at all!

Sinking down into the bathwater her legs bend as she curls her knees toward her chin. The only sound is the trickling of the faucet echoing in the small bath. She rubs her legs feeling the scab from an old wound on her thigh. No one will realize, no one will figure it out. Dropping her legs into the hot water, Ichigo slides her body into the deep old fashioned tub, her face contorting into agony.

Thank god she chose a college on the other side of Tokyo. Her friends all went to the community college in Karakurra Town so they could fight the hollows there. For the first time since leaving she is grateful for that small decision. _"If I'm alone no one will see. They won't worry."_

However the man trapped in a five year old's body in the next room is disrupting her patterns. After holding her breath as long as possible she pops out of the water and grabs her razor. She needs to figure out how to get Urahara-san to leave, to get him to go back to his normal size as fast as possible. He is a bit too observant for her tastes and he might figure out what she is doing. The metal blade is cold against her skin as she begins to shave her legs.

"Kurosaki-san? Are you alright in there?"

Comes a banging at the door making her jerk out of her stupor. Did she fall asleep? She drops the razor into a plastic dish and replies, "I'm coming."

She pulls out of the tub with a sigh. Outside she can hear a storm raging, rain pouring down on the roof of her apartment building, Kisuke clacking the keys on her laptop. The water in the tub is released to drain the faint swirls of blood vanishing down the plumbing with the tears she refuses to shed. Looking down at her leg and the trail of blood streaking a thin crimson line to her knee she curses and grabs a hand towel from the hook. "Shit." She looks at the cut across her thigh furrowing her brow, any deeper and she would need a handful of stitches. "Tch, like I need that right now." She wraps a bandage around it and pulls on her sleeping pants and a old t-shirt of her dads. _"Dad... what would you say? Suck it up Ichigo? Be strong so your mother doesn't come back and kick your ass!"_

But she sought power to protect her friends, her family. What the hell does a former substitute shinigami do with herself? Walking back into the main room of her small apartment she watches Urahara typing on her laptop like a possessed man... a tiny possessed man that is. "Hungry?" Ichigo asks walking just behind the small blonde sitting on a box so he can reach the keys of her laptop. "Want to order a pizza?" Her right eye twitches. She snatches the hat off his head and holds it up in the air.

"Hey!" Urahara grumbles standing up on the wobbly box swiping his hand up to get his hat. "Kurosaki-san, please return my-" he voice stops watching her place the hat on top of her towel wrapped head. Her arms fold in front of her bosom and her right foot begins to tap. Kisuke's eyes grow wide looking up at her flushed, freshly washed skin with awe. She has never looked more... what's the word he is searching for? How do you describe Kurosaki-san?

Catching him staring she rolls her eyes and picks up her cell phone. "Do-You-Want-To-Order-A-Pizza?" she stutters, dropping the hat over his eyes.

"Um, please. For some reason I'm quite voracious."

"Un-hun." She orders a plain cheese pizza with a salad plopping down on her western style bed. After hanging up she lays down on her pillow and watches his subtle movements as he scribbles in one of her notebooks. It's obvious he is working it all out. Almost feels familiar, her lips stretch into a small smile as she drifts to sleep. She dreams of a blue sky that fills with black. She isn't afraid of that darkness...

"_Ichigo..."_

Her eyes pop open to the dim light coming from the lamp on her desk. Her leg is stinging like a paper cut from hell. Looking down she can see the blood seeping through her pajama pants. With a start she gets up finding Kisuke asleep at her desk, the light shinning directly on his tiny pale face. She picks him up carefully and lays him on her bed. _"I didn't know his eyes were blue like the water." _she recalls seeing them looking up at her earlier in the evening.

Ichigo looks left and then right, her amber eyes reflecting the curiosity in her stomach. Her hand reaches out to touch the pale blonde hair covering his baby face. The light snore makes her hand jerk away, her orange head leans down to peek below the floppy brim. "Urahara-san?" she whispers her lips barely moving. With no reply she looks around the vacant room again then ever so lightly lifts the hat off his head with her thumb and forefinger. The sandy blonde hair is soft and tempting looking. She has never touched it but always wanted to. _"What am I waiting for? I can do this and no one will ever know." _Ichigo almost giggles, the feeling like she is getting away with some deep secret only making it all the more inviting. The pads of her fingers ever so lightly graze a blonde lock, it's silkiness surprising her. She leans closer pressing her lips to his cheek, her heart beating madly in her chest. _"Kyaa! I kissed that pervert Kisuke! Wait... he is a five year old. I'm the pervert!" _Losing her nerve she drops the hat back on his head, turns off the lamp and darts into the bathroom to redress her cut and put on new pants before Kisuke notices.

Opening the door to the washroom she peaks out finding the room pitch black but for the blinking standby light on her laptop. Creeping past the bed she sits down at her desk and decides to study. She can't bring herself to slip in bed beside Urahara-san, even if he is five... he is still Urahara-san after all. _"Ugh, I'm thinking bad things about him, when I'm the one who behaved badly by kissing him in his sleep."_

_**Two hours later;**_

Kisuke wakes with a deep yawn and scratches his belly. His eyes open in the dim light of the room as he feels his feet dangling off the end of the bed. "I'm big?" He stands up happily just before the sun peeks over Mt. Fuji in Ichigo's windows . "Kurosaki-san?" He walks over to her and taps her on the shoulder.

"Hmm?"

"I would seem... I fixed myself." Kisuke says looking around for his hat. Grabbing it off her nightstand he frowns at it's small size. "Awe My hat! It didn't grow with me." He puts it on his head and smile a crooked grin at her as she turns around. He comes face to face with a very sleepy Looking Ichigo with red rimmed glasses on her nose. "G-Glasses?" he can't stop the deep blush from tinting his face. Sleepy, disheveled woman, with glasses and frumpy hair... it's his ideal~!

"Yeah, I got em six months ago. Developed astigmatism. One of the draw backs of not being shinigami anymore I suppose." Ichigo replies shifting to stand up. "Well, now you can go back to Karakurra."

"Red glasses, really?" he swipes a hand over his chin looking at her closely. Nah, he is too curious. He takes her chin in his hand and moves it left then right, gazing at her face intensely. "Not many orange-haired people can pull off red but you do it nicely."

"Thanks... now get off me." Rising from her chair she moves over to the bed only to feel him trailing close after her. "What?"

"Did you do anything to me last night?" He is already trying to figure out how he changed back. So many questions... Only one Ichigo.

"N-No!" she flashes crimson stuttering. Oh my god! How does he do that? He couldn't possib-

"That's all right! I ran the web cam last night to see if anything strange happened." He swishes past her, his green haori flitting as he taps a few buttons on her laptop. "Let's just take a look-"

"That's my property!" She snatches the laptop yanking the cords away and quickly types in a password locking it down. "HAHA!" With a satisfied gleam in her eyes she sets it back on the desk. "Thank you Windows 7!"

"Oh now that delays my answers."

"Well I have class." Ichigo grabs her clothes and vanishes into the bathroom, only to reappear a few moments later. "You know your way out~!" she says as the sun begins to shine through the window. Grabbing her book bag and laptop she leaves with a wave for her eight o'clock lecture. Once on the metro she slumps in her seat relieved she won't have to deal with Urahara-san anymore.

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Here we go! Review for me! thanks Fuzzi


	2. A Proper Opponent

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**Beta work By Tommo 2304, Thanks for your time and support my friend^^**

_**Hush, Hush**_

One token of her shame would but poorly serve to hide another. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

_**Chapter 2; A proper opponent.**_

Why did she kiss him? "I never want to do that again!" Her eyes drift shut listening to the steady sound of the train. "Wait!" Ichigo's eyes pop open in a panic. "I like Urahara-san? No~!"

Several girls on the train giggle at her and point. Yeah, she is mortified. Ichigo quickly pulls out a magazine from her bag burying her head inside until her stop. _"Damn it! I just had to say it out loud!"_

Saying something like 'I like you or Hey you bastard, let's have a smoothie' isn't something Ichigo Kurosaki likes to admit. Verbalizing is bad. It's true she has noticed his quirky nature years before but, she always has excuses and some damn good distractions to keep her from paying ay closer attention.

Ok, personal comfort to calm her nerves. He isn't tiny anymore, he will go back to that town and vanish for another two years and leave her alone. "Yes." she says nodding in agreement with herself. There, with that over she can focus on studying. There is always something to study, not to mention her part-time work at the local ramen shop.

At least she can blow off some steam in Kendo. Ironically she still has some of her shinigami reflexes and pretty much can kick anyone's ass including the teacher. Stepping onto the mat she bows to the instructor and begins to warm up.

Her back is the the door as Kisuke Urahara walks into the dojo. The first victim walks up to her his wooden sword trembling in his hand. Ah, this is no good. Ichigo needs someone with fight in them to give her a proper challenge.

"I'll fight her."

A tiny familiar voices makes her right eye twitch. Whirling around she is hit in the stomach by a wooden sword knocking her to the ground. Looking up she sees Urahara-san... small again and frowns, "Well I'm guessing you didn't really fix yourself?"

"Run away young man." Urahara says to the six foot college student glaring dagger's at him. "This one needs a sword with bite to it." He instantly begins swinging the too long sword at her, Ichigo defending as she rises to her feet.

"No way I'm letting you beat me. I'd never forgive myself!" Ichigo quickly blocks his blade with a cracking of wood, pivoting quickly on her heel, her right leg heading directly for that damn hat he always has on. What is the deal with that hat anyway? She finds nothing but air as a body flits under her leg and his sword smacks against her thigh. "Fuck!" she drops to the mat in agony. The blood quickly wets the top of her sweatpants staining the blue material red.

"Kuro...saki-san?" He takes a step toward her in shock. Impossible... didn't hit her that hard. It's a mistake. Another mistake he has made, and she is suffering. "I'm so-"

"It's nothing." Ichigo cuts him off stumbling to the locker rooms. Grabbing her gear she heads for the showers only to hear several girls talking.

"Oh, isn't he cute and he dresses in a strange black coat with the most adorable hat on!"

"T-Thank you, now if you could just tell me where to find Kurosaki-san."

She knows that voice! It never occurred to her that he would stoop so low as to use his size to infiltrate the girls locker room. That blonde peeping pervert!

"How cute~! Are you Kurosaki-chan's little brother?"

Ichigo's eyes grow wide as she whirls around the wall of lockers jumping to grab Urahara. "You!" she stops as several girls from the tennis team give her strange glares. "I mean Kisuke-kun. Let's get you out of here." Ichigo watches the blonde girls poke and ruffle at Urahara with their delicately manicured nails. Just looking at him smiling back at the unsuspecting girls makes her...

"Why yes I am. And Ichi Nee-san is the best sister ever!" Kisuke hops around the locker room with a big grin. "Nee~"

Ichigo is completely insane with rage. Clamping her hand over his eyes she drags his into a shower stall. "You..."

"Everything alright in there?"

Comes a voice just behind the door. Ichigo quickly makes a cutting motion at her throat giving Urahara a warning. "Not a word." she whispers opening the door. "Everything is fine. I'll just be taking Kisuke-kun home now so our mother doesn't worry."

"Ouch!" Kisuke yelps as Ichigo grabs his ear and drags him out the locker room doors.

"Bye~ Kisuke~kun~" The girls giggle as their clothes start to drop to the floor.

The sounds of the metro do little to ease his mind as his feet dangle from the bench he is sitting on. _"I wonder what she is thinking about." _Kisuke's eyes glance at the bleeding wound on her leg. There is no way he struck her hard enough to break the skin. Ichigo hasn't spoken a word to him since leaving the gym. What should he do? What plan would make her open up to him more? "Kurosaki-san..." Her glare makes him wince and his voice goes silent. Perhaps timing is needed to speak to her about important things, and maybe some tact. However, he can't keep the past from knocking the wind from her sails. She seems to be happy here. Can he really take that away? He has taken so much from her already. Seems like he shouldn't have come here, seems like she is doing much better than he thought she would. Seems like it... at least. Taking another glance at her leg he rubs his chin. _"But, something is very wrong here. Kurosaki-san isn't happy at all."_

The lights flick over her face as he watches her eyes shut, her body slack and light sleep falling over her. This is a rarity for Kisuke. To watch over her in a moment of peace. Slipping his hat off he gazes at her small features with a bit of wonder. Her eyebrows are still clenched, her jaw firm, but her arm curls around his small form protectively. _"Always protecting something Kurosaki-san?" _He shakes his head lightly, this time he will protect her. Even if it's from herself.

The train stops and people shift in and out, the car becomes vacant but, for a few and one shady looking guy across the way is looking at them out of the corner of his eye. Urahara regrets being so small for the first time. Kurosaki-san is human and therefore under his charge to protect. Yet, he feels something very strange rising up in his chest at the though of a guy like that one looking at her with impure motives. _"Don't think about it Thug-san." _He has a hand on his cane and meets the stranger's glance directly to show that he sees him and he isn't afraid despite being two feet tall.

Actually that could work in his favor. No one is afraid of a child. And he might look five but his mind and reflexes are still an adult. Unwilling to disturb her sleep he moves closer to her. Warning Thug-san that he knows and sees him and isn't afraid. The only thing he is afraid of is her waking and giving him a tongue lashing for being protective. Kurosaki-san would certainly see this as an insult and he can't allow that. Her pride has suffered enough from losing her powers. _"You might be human in body, but you are still shinigami. You are Isshin-san's beloved Ichigo." _Urahara thinks looking at her tan face, her eye lids twitching as she enters a deeper sleep.

"Relax kid. I'm not going to hurt your sister."

Kisuke's eyes lift to the stranger as he pulls a badge from his pocket. "Oh, I see. Forgive me officer for my rude assumption." He just made a fool of himself. Listing reason after reason to protect Kurosaki-san from nothing at all. He slumps in his seat feeling her warmth curl around his small body. She smells like something sweet, plums and a rare flower. _"Is it a night rose? Could be... or even plumeria."_

"It's alright. Some muggings have been reported on this route lately and I'm undercover. So be at ease. The police take this kind of thing seriously." The officer says tucking his ID back inside his jacket.

The car lurches to a stop and Ichigo wakes rubbing at her eyes from the bright subway lights. "Urahara-san, why are you hugging me?"

"I-I wasn't trying anything. I was just-"

"You feel cold." She says giving him her jacket. "There. Lets get you out of the weather." Ichigo takes his hand and leads him out of the subway and up the terminal stairs. "I guess you are like a little brother and need to be taken care of." Her voice comes out lighter than the growl she had earlier.

"I'm fine." Urahara takes off the bulky navy blue coat and returns it too her. "I don't need to be taken care of. Thank you but, you are still a woman and I'm a man." It's that easy for her to focus on someone else and care for them. It's that part of her that hurts him the most. He won't have her look at him that way. Never.

"O...kay?" Ichigo shrugs it off. "It'll be dark soon. We have to be home before sundown so I'm going to have to carry you." Without waiting for him to argue she picks him up and opens her coat. Stuffing him inside, she hold onto him and runs down the street.

"Nuuuugh!" Kisuke is mortified cradled like a baby around her body as she runs, her right breast providing such a warm soft cushion he can't help but roll his eyes up to the sky and wonder of she is doing this on purpose.

"Almost there." She bounds up her stairwell and opens the door. Stepping inside she deposits him on her bed and slips of those rediculous shoes of his. "Don't worry! You are still a man to me." She wraps a heavy blanket around him and vanishes into the bathroom.

"_What am I going to do with him?" _Dragging her way over to the toilet she lowers the lid and sits down. Thankfully her wound has stopped bleeding or she might really need stitches. How would she explain it to Urahara? Taking off her pants she pulls on a winter yukata and ties the belt. _"At least I can use the excuse of school work to avoid talking to him. Oh wait..." _Dashing back into the other room she sees him on her bed with her laptop open and replaying last nights kissing scene over... and over. "No! Damn you! And Damn Windows 7!"

"Kurosaki-san, kissed me." He grins wide flicking his giant fan over his face. "Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it. EVER!" Marching over to her bed she grabs the laptop and tries to retreat to her bathroom when he hops in front of the door.

"Wait! You kissed me and I got bigger!"

"S-so?"

"Do it again and let's see if-"

"Oh hell no!" she flatly refuses him whirling around toward her window. "I am not some princess, although after your behavior in the girls locker room you would be an excellent frogman."

"Now, now Kurosaki-san. Just a peck on my chibi little cheek and we can see. If nothing happens you never have to do it again." His eyes instantly grow round with innocence. "Come on..." he steps up on the bed holding out his arms.

"Oh, don't twinkle at me! It's..." Her hand moves down her face in frustration. He is just too damn adorable right now. Peeking through her fingers she watches him pull off his hat with his cheeks all crimson. Damn him. Even two foot tall he tells her what to do and she folds every time. "Fine, but if you say anything.." she curls her hand into a fist. "I'll-"

"Not a word. I swear!" Kisuke lifts his pinky up to her and studies her expression in the dimming light of the ending day. The yukata wrapped around her has small snow flakes embroidered on the navy blue material. He can see her fingers trembling as they curl around the thick fabric regardless of her boisterous exterior telling him she is scared.

Her head dips down and she plants a tiny kiss on his cheek ignoring his pinky promise. He just had to pull out the big cuteness guns with that. "There! Happy?" She instantly retreats to the bathroom to collect herself. Kissing him once was bizarre but twice now?

_Beep! Beep!_

Her cellphone chirps out a long peel, she knows already who it is before answering. Pulling the small red phone from her pants pocket she pops open the receiver. "Hi dad."

"Ichigo! What took you so long to answer? Are you too busy with boys to call your own father?"

"Don't be stupid." she sighs into the phone opening the door to make some hot tea. "Oh my god... Kisuke is big. I gotta go dad, he is big again."

"No wait! What!"

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Here we go! Thanks so much for the great response. It truly motivated me to make this chapter something special for everyone. HUGS you all! I hope you like it^^ Fuzzi


	3. Body of Evidence

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Hush, Hush**_

_**A bodily disease, which we look upon as whole and entire within itself, may, after all, be but a symptom of some ailment in the spiritual part. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne**_

_**Chapter 3; Body of Evidence**_

"How... why... what?" Ichigo blinks in shock as Urahara walks up to her grabbing her hand and pushing her toward the bed. "I... don't see how the hell my lips could-"

"We can discuss it after I look at your leg." he replies lifting the hem on her robe and exposing her long legs up to her thighs.

"No way!" she yells kicking him in the face.

"Kurosaki-san, please don't fight." Kisuke rubs at his nose with one hand and wrapping his other hand under her knee. With a gentle lift she tumbles to the bed hurling comments and flailing her legs. "You need medical attention, you aren't shinigami anymore."

"You think I don't know that?" her voice calms as she grows still. He had to say it, like she needs reminding of her current condition. "It's not a new development. I have been this way for two years."

"I am aware." he answers in a soft tone, his eyes wincing at the purplish bruise located around a pencil length cut slicing around the width whole of her thigh. _"There is no way a Shinai sword could have caused this. Is she ill? How did this happen?" _Hovering over the wound his hand glows with a dull green. "Please tell me how you got this injury." he isn't asking, he is telling her in a rather blunt manner.

Hating being this clearly forceful he tilts his head at her and looks into her eyes. The smile stretching out on his lips gives him a sickening feeling in his stomach. He is once again sidestepping his own emotions. _"This is getting to be... complicated." _Demanding honesty from her while hiding his own secrets is unfair. He is a man treading into dangerous waters. It's about her, isn't it? Ichigo Kurosaki, the one person whom he would like to never involve in his problems again. Look at where he is. Why did he come to her? Oh yes, that's right. _"I..."_

"It's nothing so let go of me." she barks back pushing her bare foot against the side of his face. "Freaking pervert." Anger, rage, fury well up in her chest. Scrambling away from his grasp her feet hit the floor and she instantly darts into the bathroom. Hiding, yes she is hiding from him and the questions. _"I don't care. I don't!"_ Dropping the robe to the floor she steps into the shower and sprays her body with cold water. The freezing tingle makes her feel something, and as her frustration finally spills out she picks up her razor. Such a small thing really. Straight and sharp... the blade inside has a purpose. "Do I have a purpose?" Sliding down the blue tile her eyes blink as her red glasses become covered in mist from the water turning hot. She lifts her hand to pull them off when the door to the bathroom is cracked open with a single blow. The green a white stripes of the hat come into view as he steps through the splintered doorway. "Urahara... san?"

"What are you doing?" He looks at the razor near her face and frowns. So that's how it is? Responsibility flashes in his mind as pain washes over his face. The blood dripping down her face is on his hands. The cut. Oh Kami-sama, the cut is practically caused by his own blade.

"Get ou-" her voice stops as her hand is grabbed by his. She blinks for a moment, her vision blurring. How long have her ears been ringing this loud? "No, not in here. He can't be in here. This place is private..." she whispers through the tears. The last push of her dignity forces out of her mouth as his hand takes away the razor. "GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Kuro- Ichigo-_san_... isn't that the problem?" His teeth grind seeing her make the same face as that day she gave up her powers wounding Aizen. Shutting off the water he grabs a stack of towels from the rack next to the shower stall and uses one to blot at her wound. _"I should have said... so much- no everything to her." _His eyes widen for a moment. Knowing and understanding her just became tangible, but Ichigo has needs he can't address properly with her practically naked and vulnerable. The woman has always been defensive with her own feelings. But there is one way to get her out of this heavy emotion. "Red Glasses." He says, poking her nose with a fingertip.

Her mouth drops open in shock. "Y-You guessed my password?" Scrambling up from the watery floor she snatches her blue robe off the floor with a scowl. Urahara managed to figure out her password that easy? Grrr! "How-Never mind. Its obvious you are always going to be smarter than me." Turning around the material grabs at her wet skin making it difficult to lay properly around her neck and shoulders. "I-I won't forgive you for breaking my door, and seeing me naked!"

"I did not ask for forgiveness." Maybe he should have. Maybe that would have kept her from running off to college and cutting everyone out of her life. From... making that face and vanishing like it never happened. He reaches around her body tugging lightly at the robe so it sits more comfortably on her shoulders. "If you don't forgive~ I won't forget your pink panties and bra!" he chuckles lifting her up from the floor.

"I-I don't need to be carried! I have feet, and toes, and... legs." Ichigo is grasping at straws trying to gather her composure. Her back gently touches her blanket and Kisuke quickly pulls down the blinds and turns off all the lights in the apartment. Only the faint glow of her laptop is illuminating the area around her desk. Returning to her side he can still make out the redness of her cheeks and the shivering of her lower lip.

"Why did you turn off all the lights? Pervert..." she whispers not even putting effort into her words as his fingers lift away a few long orange hairs from over her eyes.

"Is it too dark for you Ichi- err Kurosaki-san?" He didn't it again. Said her name without the formality. The sound of it on his tongue, the feel of it on his lips earlier felt so incredible. Like she somehow belonged to him. Clearing his throat he lifts a hand into the air and begins to speak in a low warm whisper. "The blue fire, crash down kidou can be modified." His eyes tilt down to her lips. Oh how he would be so interested in the sound of his name spoken from those full pink lips.

_"What the hell is he talking about kidou for?"_

"If used by someone who is at a mastery level it can be instantly duplicated." His hand fills with a large glowing ball of power and suddenly shatters into thousands of small orbs of blue light.

Ichigo jerks slightly only to feel him slide his left hand into her palm. She watches the tiny marble sized kidou float in the air basking them in a pale blue light. "It's beautiful."

"It's the only kidou that creates light without heat." Grabbing one sphere he places it in her empty palm. "And with a little nudge of reiatsu..." he taps his finger to the blue orb in her hand, a thin line come out connecting to all the orbs like Christmas lights. "they link together in a ring." His hand moves up sending the large ring to the ceiling to hover above them. There it is. That expression she always makes when he is giving her a mission or about to put her in danger. Complete trust... Look what he did to that trust, he took her powers from her and then left her alone. He should have- "I should have thought of another way to defeat Aizen. I shouldn't have left you alone to deal with it all. I'm so sor-"

"You're here now." She puts a hand on his arm giving him a genuine smile. "Don't weight it down with 'I'm sorry.' Right? I never blamed you. It didn't even occur to me." Ichigo whispers fighting the urge to move away and break this moment he has conjured between them. "So don't make that face anymore when you look at me."

"I-Ichigo-san..." His voice breaks as he takes in her sweet expression. How can she do that? Comfort him when he is trying to comfort _her_. "You just have no idea." His hand tugs her palm up to his chest. _"How your heart stuns me speechless..."_

She can't laugh it off, she can't pull away from his grasp and risk... What would happened if it continued? The trembling of his hand, the sincerity on his face, tells her to accept his feelings. That it's not meaningless and trivial. He is being real and she wants to be real too. "Listen, you did... everything you could have." Maybe this is what should have happened between them years ago and the war got in the way, pain got in the way, and her self-imposed isolation. "You protected me..." Swallowing the knot in her throat she sucks in a deep breath of air and continues to speak. "when it mattered most, Kisuke."

Thrilled she spoke his name he leans over the bed and lifts a hand to her face. _"It didn't even occur to her... All this time I have been so worried that she hates me." _Her expression is full of surprise and as he takes in the tremble of her lips, the strangest inclination curls in his stomach. Would she let him closer? "Please let me heal the wounds on your face and leg."

"Alright." she says leaning up, her feet touching the floor next to where he is kneeling. "I'm... sorry I gave you a hard time." Tilting her head she looks at the floor in embarrassment. "Did I hurt you?" Why does she have to run from anything that involves people getting close to her?

"Oh, no I'm fine Ichigo-san, er Kurosaki-"

"I like it when you call me Ichigo." she says rather fast, her face blushing crimson as the hand on her robe exposes her leg. The hand suddenly trembles and Kisuke takes a quick step back. "U-Um I wasn't flirting or anything."

"No, Captain Soi Fon is coming." Kisuke looks at her with a smile grabbing his hat from the bed. "And it would be alright if you flirt with me." He gives her a quick peck on the cheek.

"I-I refuse!" She does a double take with her head as he slips inside her closet. "Thief!"

"Where is he! I am certain he is in here somewhere!" Soi Fon says popping through Ichigo's wall. "that ridiculous man is here I can smell the candy!"

"That is my body wash. I just got out of the shower. And don't just barge in here. I have a right to some privacy. I'm not involved in your world anymore so stay out of mine."

"You are hiding him!" Soi Fon narrows her eyes at Ichigo's red eye glasses with disdain. "Glasses?What's wrong? Your age catching up with you?"

"Not really. I'm not the oldest person in this room..." Ichigo snaps turning her back to the captain. "Or the shortest for that matter."

"You bitch!"

"Don't call Ichigo-san such an ugly word!" Kisuke pops out of the closet swinging lifting his hat from his head. "Apologize!"

"_**Tiny again!**_" Ichigo exclaims in a high pitched voice and watches Soi Fon chase around mini Kisuke. She instantly recalls him kissing her before he retreated to the closet. "It's true?"

"Urahara you bastard. What have you done with Yoruichi-san!" She begins swiping at the short version of Kisuke completely and utterly confused. This has got to be some trick to get out of telling her where Yoruichi-san is! "Where is she!"

"I honestly do not know." he says using his cane to block her attacks. "I'm hurt you think I would lie to a captain of the Gotei."

_**Ring! Ring! Ring!**_

"H-Hello!" Ichigo answers her phone frowning as pictures fall from the walls and her bed covers are thrown in the air. The lamp... yeah it's now on the floor broken. Son of a bitch! Oh there went her pile of manga. Assholes! They were alphabetized by author. "Hello?"

"Ichi-Nee. You need to come home."

"Yuzu what's wrong?" Ichigo grabs Kisuke by the collar giving Soi Fon a strong right leg to her stomach. "You two time out! Yuzu, I'll try to come home for Christmas." Lie. Total lie. Ugh, and she promised herself she wouldn't lie to Karin or Yuzu. Did she sound believable? No, no you don't lie to your family that makes you scum.

"Now Ichi-nee, Daddy's in the hospital." she exclaims crying. "He had a heart attack!"

"Dad had a heart attack?" Ichigo stumbles over the fallen lamp and tripping to the floor, her phone dropping from her hands.

Urahara grabs her phone. "Kurosaki-san is on her way home tonight."

* * *

Here we go! The next chapter. Thank you so much for taking a moment and reviewing. It really inspires me to do my best, and update fast! HUGS to everyone. Fuzzi


	4. Home

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

Dedicated to my great friend Midnight Tune. You are awesome Imouto. huggles you^^

_**Hush, Hush**_

_**In our nature, however, there is a provision, alike marvelous and merciful, that the sufferer should never know the intensity of what he endures by its present torture, but chiefly by the pang that rankles after it. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne**_

_**Chapter 4; Home**_

Going home is a horrible feeling. Why is it that one place represents so much happiness, and so much fucking pain? With a sigh Ichigo steps out of the train to the large platform with Urahara, the tiny one that is, on her heels. She knows he is falling behind, but she does not slow her steps. Climbing the stairs to the sprawling city of Karakurra she shuts her eyes at the gush of cold wind blowing at her hair. Once she reaches the top step she exhales a sigh and looks around. Nothing has changed at all. Everything is precisely as she recalls it from the last time she was here. For some reason... it just makes her feel more empty. "Only I changed." she whispers tugging off the red scarf from her neck.

"Ichigo-san?"

"Yeah?" she looks down at Kisuke's makeshift coat. "You are going to freeze unless you let me carry you." She tugs at the bulky university sweater and wraps her pink scarf around his neck. "Come on." Her hand motions for him to climb on her back.

"I politely refuse." He waves a hand at her unable to get the image of her treating him like a child from his head. It bothers him. A lot. She concerns him even more than ever, in truth he never stopped thinking about her. They continue walking toward the shoten in silence.

Isshin-san insisted she be left to find her own path, but Kisuke wanted to see her. On more than one occasion he watched her from afar as she moved from one class to another. Her expression unchanged since the day she lost her powers. So much blood and pain feeds his guilt, it's practically oozing out of her and staining his hands red. The whole way to Karakurra he kept thinking about the cuts on her face and leg. _"Why Kurosaki-san? Please, please will you finally admit that you miss this part of your life? The part with me in it." _He needs to think. A lot. How to help her in the best way, the least painful way. "Shall I accompany you to the hospital?" he says hoping in his heart she will look at him as more than a nuisance.

"Nah, I'm sure Soi Fon will be waiting for you. You did promise to help her find Yoruichi-san. I'll see you later."

"_I used to be... allowed near you." _In the end he never showed himself to her in the two years they were separated. She might not blame him, but he does and staying away from her... was the worst kind of punishment he could conjure up.

She walks down the road with a wave and a smile. Just before turning the corner she stops as a familiar memory streaks across her mind. She has waved to him many times from this corner. On a whim her head lifts to the tiny blonde standing on the sidewalk with a oversized sweater and her scarf swallowing him up to his large blue eyes. They aren't strangers. She and Kisuke even had a few moments of fighting on equal ground. _"Even though he is infinitely smarter than me... He never treated me less than an equal." _Oh it's a crazy inclination, to walk back over to him and just hug him. Tch... it's only because he is all cute and tiny. Ichigo tilts her head at him. _"Might as well help him out of his chibi-ness." _

Kisuke's eyes brighten watching her walk back toward him. Her down cast gaze saying so much. _"Your movements give you away, Ichigo-san." _What would it take to get her to look him in the eyes again? Just what wouldn't he do... for her? With a silent chuckle he snuggles into the scarf so his eyes are barely showing. "Hyuuu~!"

"Cute... but I prefer older men." she says then plants a tiny peck on his forehead.

"Since when?"

"It's a new development." Ichigo says then turns the corner to walk to the hospital cringing inside for playing along with his game. He always has a way to get her to do just about anything. Why?

Making a sharp turn at the hospital she arrives at the Kurosaki family clinic and stands at the doorway with her hand lifted to the door. The whole 'daddy is having a heart attack' didn't sit well with her. She instantly knew better but figured she can't stay away forever, plus if they were this motivated to see her then she should make an appearance. Moving forward is the only thing Ichigo is really good at. Can't they see... this is her way of getting over it?

Instead of going inside she sits on the small porch with her head lowered into her hands. People always say leaving home is the hardest decision you will ever make, but that is bullshit. Coming back home is much harder. Returning and seeing your family takes a delicate balance with the reasons you left and the memories with the people you care about. Staying away is only about her stupid stubbornness. Ichigo wanted to pretend it never happened, that it was all a dream that faded with the sun. That the fighting, and battles were to protect everyone. "I don't know what to say." she mumbles into her hands.

"How about saying... I'm home."

Ichigo sighs looking up from her hands to Yoruichi in her cat form. "Is it so simple? Just act like nothing has changed when everything has for me."

"You are too young to punish yourself." The black cat hops into Ichigo's lap, her large yellow eyes staring at the small cut on her face. "The more you hide who you really are the more pain that builds up inside." Yoruichi understands losing something that defines who you are. Starting over is hard, and even harder for Ichigo. She broods over things. They aren't so different. Only Ichigo's emotions always direct her heart. The orange haired young woman hides under a healthy layer of self loathing, only finding relief when her shinigami powers surfaced.

"I'm fine! Why do you and Urahara-san think I'm so pathetic!"

"You are an idiot!" Yoruichi swipes a paw over Ichigo's face.

"I just wanted to deal with it myself." Ichigo's voice grows soft, her hand touches the gash on her face.

"Go talk to your family, tell them you are sorry for being so selfish. Then go take a nice long look at Kisuke."

"Urahara-san? What do I need to-"

"Wake up! Moron, I should beat you senseless for not noticing him. Just do it!"

"Alright." Ichigo stands taking a deep breath and opens the front door to her house. "I'm home..."

~/~

Laying down on her old bed brings back so many memories. Some painful but most are enough to make her smile. Pushing back tears has become like second nature, and for the most part it's effortless. Her family simple hugged her, and they ate an early breakfast like Ichigo had never been gone. _"They are too damn understanding."_

Her head turns toward the sound of something pecking at her window. Lifting up from her blue blanket she flings open the curtains finding Urahara's face pressed to the glass. "You do realize nothing is keeping you from walking right in."

"Untrue! There is a barrier around your home." Kisuke moans looking over his shoulder as the sky is becoming dark. "Isshin-san is very protective of his girls."

"What? Really?" Ichigo is tickled at the fact he cant come in. "Haha! You aren't allowed." she says poking at the window where his nose is plastered against the glass. "How did you climb up here? Tch, It's dangerous if you fall."

"You would invite me into you room?" he pulls out his hand fan to hide his wide smile. "Scandalous behavior, Ichigo-san." He inwardly groans. This might sound charming if he wasn't two feet high.

"Tch, I should wash out your little mouth with soap." Ichigo turns her back on him to avoid the frown that her comment is sure to make."If you going to be pervert about it then I won't."

"_Go talk to your family, tell them you are sorry for being so selfish. Then go take a nice long look at Kisuke."_

That's right Yoruichi-san said for her to look at him. _"Eh, I can't concentrate with him so adorably tiny." _Sliding open the window she quickly kisses his cheek. "Be grateful! And don't climb up here anymore."

_Knock! Knock! _Ichigo whirls around to look at her door knob turning.

"One second!" Turning around she sees Kisuke is gone and can't help but feel disappointed. The air around him always feels lighter to her, like he lifts her spirit just by being there.

"Ichigo?" Comes the voice of her father from her door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure dad."

_**Later that evening;**_

In a dark room past several doors of the local candy shop is a blonde man flitting back and forth in a panic. Questions without answers are the bane of Kisuke's existence. "Something is wrong with Kurosaki-san." he says to the empty room. Sitting down on a stool he begins making a list of possible reasons and solutions. Only one of them is even possible. "This is serious."

He swishes over to his closet, his haori rippling as it dangles loosely from his shoulders. He has one in here, an item that would prove his theory about Ichigo. Throwing open the door he steps inside and begins throwing various items behind him. The cuts... they have to be... His mind swishes with the feel of her hand in his. When did she get so... soft? "Oh there it is!" He tugs on the silver handle. The closets many boxes and junk suddenly fall on top of him. "Oof!"

"Defeated by a closet... how sad." Ichigo smiles watching his head pop out from the piles of boxes.

"Ichigo-san?" He blinks looking at her in his lab. "I-I meant to..." Watching her wonder around staring at all his paperwork and experiments, he can't help but smile. "do that." To have her here again feels right. That her unbearable vacancy has finally come to an end.

"Need some help out of there?" She walks over to the closet and extends her hand to him. Urahara grabs her hand but she is suddenly yanked into the closet on top of him. "Oi!"

"Oh... I'm so sorry." he whispers not daring to move, her wide eyed expression giving him a sort of new curiosity about her. "Your eyes... are a warm shade of amber." All his thoughts suddenly stop. Tilting his head to get a closer look, he lifts a hand touching her chin. For some unknown mystery her nearness seems... closer than before. _"Why didn't he notice earlier?" _Notice that Ichigo has blossomed into this lovely woman with a crown of orange hair and a constant cranky look that is strangely attractive. _"I... like her."_

Kisuke's face... he is so serious now. His large blue eyes seemingly search hers for something, but what? Why? Ichigo watches his gaze flick down to her lips. Her instinct is to pull away, again. But Yoruichi told her to take a 'nice long look' at Kisuke. What the hell does that mean? What exactly is she supposed to see? That Urahara needs to shave? He does. _"Ok, I looked, time to go." _The desire to move away shows on her face, her eyes shifting down to the large sword in his other hand. "Is that a zanpaktou?"

"Yes..." his reply is soft. He suddenly isn't interested in the blade. She is here in his personal rooms smelling so good, and looking so innocent. _"Is it plums? No... Oh it couldn't be that she actually smells like strawberries... That is just so..." _Leaning up he breathes in her scent surprised at the flush appearing on her cheeks. _"It's peaches... she smells of fresh peaches." _Kisuke's stomach churns hungrily. Somethings you can tell are tasty just by looking at them. Ichigo's full pink lips is one of those. She is honestly very appealing with her long orange hair in a braid hanging over her shoulder, her cheeks red, the delicious pink lips sliding against each other seductively.

"What is it for?"

"I like pie." What just happened? Suddenly he can't think properly? Him, her, in this semi dark closet

"You are going to use the sword for pie?" What just happened? Urahara is acting all weird. Struggling to stand a foot gets stuck in a box.

"Ichi-Ichigo-san..." And... she is now squirming on top of him. Oh... dear. "Don't move that way. I-Ichigo-san!" he starts slide deeper into the closet to escape her movements the gap between them widening and the scent of her skin vanishing. Without warning a box dumps over top of them both sending a healthy layer of dust and papers over them. Kisuke lift open an eye to find her looking miserable and covered in dirt. "Oh... dear."

"Ah choo!" Dust flies up in a puff. She keeps sneezing, her face feeling hotter.

"_She looks so cute!" _He blinks each time she sneezes, his head bobbing with hers. _"Oh now she looks angry." _Finding the floor he stands up and lifts her to her feet. "I think you should use the bath down stairs."

"U-Um I can just go ho-"

"Shhh." He pushes a finger to her lips to hush her. "I insist."

Once again she fails to argue properly with Urahara. She would only lose. Within minutes Ichigo finds herself under the shoten in the green water of his onsen. "So this is why he wanted me to use this bath." she says watching the cut on her thigh close healing perfectly. "Kisuke always helps me." Thinking back on it he has always managed to show up at the right time. Protecting her when others couldn't step in. Splashing water on her face she feels the cut on her face closing up and decides to leave the water. Looking down in the murky green liquid her eyes grow round as the water turns crystal clear. "That's weird... the healing water looks normal." Dropping back into the water she dips a hand into the water and frowns seeing her own reflection. Is this really what she looks like now? Noticing the dark circles under her eyes she exhales a low moan. _"This must be why Kisuke was looking at me like I was an alien earlier."_

Still she liked his gaze, her stomach felt all nervous and excited at the same time. After finishing her bath she steps out of the water wrapping a towel around her body. The towel barely covers her body edging just above her nipples the hem managing to reach her thighs. _"Last time I was here these towels covered everything. I have aquired more everything." _She ponders her growing body padding around the rock to where she left her jeans and shirt.

Glancing at the basket she finds a long red yukata instead of her street clothes. "He must be washing them." Pulling on the yukata Ichigo ties the belt turns it on her body so the bow in in the back and frowns at the quality of the fabric. Marching upstairs she finds Urahara in his lab with red, green, and blue cords connected to his now tiny self. "Urahara Kisuke!" she yells out watching him jump out on his seat, his hat flying up in the air. Catching the smaller floppy hat she pops it on her head then folds her arms her front of her breasts.

"H-Hai?" He blinks turning around to face her. "I-Ichigo-san?"

"Who else could it be?"

Oh... dear. Red silk... tiny white cherry blossoms, and a white obi. She looks... "Wow..."

"Listen I need different clothes." She takes a step toward the now small Urahara fighting the urge to strangle him for making her wear such a thing.

"You look like a princess." he mutters then tilts his eyes up to see Ichigo hiding her face under his green and white striped hat. "Oh, I said that out loud."

"This Yukata is an antique! I can't wear it!" Lifting the hem from the ground she follows him into another room. Turning when he does to find herself in a darker room with a changing screen over in the corner.

"I only have clothes for myself here."

"Then where did this yukata come from?" She stomps her slipper to the mat impatiently.

"It's one of Yoruichi-san's. I had nothing to do with it."

"I don't care just give me anything! This is too expensive for someone like me!"

"What do I get in return?" he grins from behind his fan. Yes... what she just said bothers him. She looks good in this dress. It offends him that she would believe herself unworthy of it.

"In return?"

"Yes. I give you something I should get something in return."

"What... do you want?"

He lifts a small camera... "A picture of you in this dress." She does not want to look like the beautiful woman in front of him. He wants the picture to prove that she is lovely.

"W-Why do you want a picture of me? Go take one of Yoruichi-san or Rangiku-san." Ichigo blinks as the light flashes. "Bastard! Give me that camera."

"Don't you want to change?" He pulls out of his closet a pair of green pants and a plain green shirt.

"Give me the camera!"

"That's a different deal. I want a kiss in exchange for the camera."

"You are an evil chipmunk!" He side steps as she lunges for him, the yukata is too snug for her to run in and she tumbles to the floor. Looking up from the floor Ichigo frowns as he dangles the camera over her furious face. "Fine!" Rolling up to her feet she grabs him giving him a quick peck on the cheek. Kisuke suddenly vanishes as the lights go out. "Oi! I kissed now give it!"

"Now, now Ichigo-san" he turns the dial on the lights only leaving a faint glow to the room. "I am afraid I still need my kiss."

"What? I kissed! You got bigger! Now give up the camera!"

"I wanted a kiss as big Kisuke..." he flips his fan in front of his face as she curses a blue streak. "Oh you are turning as red as your yukata!" Urahara swoops from behind her pressing a hand to her back. He gently flicks the hat from her head and smiles as her long hair tumbles out. "Do we have a deal? One little kiss for the camera?"

"I... I can't do that." Ichigo whispers, her eyes growing wide. Could she? Kiss Urahara.

"You can. It's only a matter of wanting too." he responds surprised at himself, shocked that he hadn't planned this. He just lost his bearings for a moment and this was the result. It's not a bad place. Being her with Ichigo in his arms. Does he want to actually kiss her? Does he? Her eyes, her smell, she is the only thing he can see. Looking down to her lips his head lowers, this woman has drawn his eye for the past few years more than any other. He does want to kiss her for real and not this game he has started. "Forgive me, Kurosaki-san." handing her the camera he slips out of the room and heads for his lab. He needs to think more. To think a lot about what he almost started, and now a new problem. Sliding down his lab door he sits on the floor covering his mouth with his hand. Thinking... and thinking back to the very beginning and all the events that intertwine their lives. "How long have I loved her?"

**

* * *

Ah Here we have the next update. The previous chapter was so well reviewed I was thrilled to get on my laptop and write more for you all. Please keep them coming and I promise to keep writing^^ They really mean a lot to me. hugs and Happy Holidays ;D Fuzzi**


	5. Growing Pains

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

Sorry this chapter is late. I am ill but I worked hard to get this done for everyone^^

_**Hush, Hush**_

_**Chapter 5; Growing Pains**_

Why did he look at her like she was a headless freak? Ichigo stands in the dimly lit room stunned. What the hell just happened? One second Kisuke is teasing her like he used to do, the next he can't wait to get away from her. Then he said something nice.

"_You look like a princess."_

Urahara-san has always been a bit eccentric but damn it if Ichigo is beside herself with what this is about. "It must be some trick or angle he is working on." she whispers stripping off of the fancy yukata from behind the changing screen. Tugging on the baggy pants she ties the string belt and wraps the green shirt around her body. Once it's tied snugly around her chest she hangs the fancy dress on a wooden stand with a groan. "It is beautiful." she mutters running her hand over the silk material. The image of her mother's warm safe presence washes through her mind. "But beautiful things... always vanish around me."

"That doesn't mean you do not deserve them." Yoruichi says reaching around Ichigo and squeezing at her breasts. "Oh these have gotten bigger."

"BITCH!" Ichigo swipes at the plum haired woman in a fury.

"Hahaha! Easy Ichigo. " Yoruichi replies with a loud cackle stepping a distance away from Ichigo. "Who rubbed your fur the wrong way?"

"Stupid Kisuke." She whirls around facing the double doors he vanished behind.

"Ooh did he..." she holds her hands up making squeezing motion at her own breasts. "rub to hard?"

"What? Hell no!" she turns around her mouth dropped open in shock. "U-Urahara-san doesn't want to rub them."

"Oh now it's Urahara-san... Just a moment ago it was Kisuke. I wonder why such a change." Yoruichi knows exactly where the conversation is heading. This is Ichigo after all and leading the younger woman in an argument is too easy.

"Nothing... really." Ichigo rolls her eyes trying not to recall Kisuke's serious face.

"Oh, you are so dishonest with your own feelings."

"I'm not the dishonest one! He said something about me looking like a princess!"

"You can't stay a girl forever Ichigo." Yoruichi replies seriously, her yellow eyes becoming large and sincere. "You must realize this more than anyone."

"I don't-"

"Don't expect Kisuke to lie just to make you more comfortable with yourself." Walking over to Ichigo she sets a strong hand on her shoulder. "I know your mother passed away before you could have this kind of talk but... When a man and woman really care about each other-"

"I DON'T NEED A SEX TALK! I'M NOT THAT STUPID!" Ichigo starts to storm out the double doors and run home, her face crimson as the dress she had on a moment ago.

"HAHAHA!" Yoruichi blocks the door sandwiching herself between Ichigo and the door, their breasts bumping against each other. "So you do notice Kisuke after all."

"Notice what?" What is Yoruichi-san getting at? She thinks for a moment and comes up with nothing at all.

"Oi..." Yoruichi suddenly flings open the doors revealing Urahara in his lab with and kinds of wires coming from his chest. "Kisuke, Ichigo is wearing your clothes~!"

"Pardon?" His eyes grow round taking in the sight of Ichigo in the green baggy uniform he normally wears. "Hyuuu?" he blinks as wires pop off his bare chest.

"What the hell are you doing in there?" Yoruichi looks embarrassed for her long time friend. "Jesus, Kisuke have some delicacy for the moment!" she scoffs quickly slamming the door shut. "Now, Ichigo don't take this badly. Kisuke is unusual but he never once has lied when it comes to you." she says instantly recovering.

"When it comes to me?"

"Eh..." Yoruichi's right eye twitches. She is about to hit her in the head when Ichigo interrupts her.

"Yoruichi-san... I don't feel so well." Ichigo drops to the mat, blood oozing onto the floor in front of her is the last thing she sees before her eyes close.

"Kisuke!"

~/~

Faint voices echo in Ichigo's ears. Before she opens her eyes she can hear Urahara and Yoruichi-san speaking in hushed voices.

"Kisuke, are you sure about this?"

"I suspected it about a week ago. This proves it." he says siting on his knees next to Ichigo's resting form. "I do not want to do this Yoruichi-san."

"Then use the third option."

"Not this time, Yoruichi-san." He gently lifts Ichigo's small hand in his bringing her fingers to his lips. "This is Ichigo's decision."

"I have never seen you deliberately choose a solution that is so rife with your own emotion." Yoruichi's large yellow eyes slant to Kisuke holding the young woman's hand. "What will an emotionally compromised Kisuke Urahara do with himself?"

"I will keep it all hush, hush." Urahara whispers holding up his hand still clinging to Ichigo's to his lips.

"Careful Kisuke. Making yourself a martyr for Soul Society is understandable, but for Ichigo..." She moves to the exit hiding the dread in her stomach for her longtime friends refusal to just be open with his own feelings. _"Whatever happened to telling someone you love them and let the consequences be damned?"_

"She did it for me, she did it for the town. This is perfectly logical to me."

"Ichigo destroyed the Soukyoku, find a different cross to nail yourself on." Yoruichi slips out the shoten heading off to visit Soi Fon and maybe drop in on Byakuya for kicks.

Ichigo opens her eyes with a stretch of her arms to a large familiar place. Just a few years ago he found her in the rain and brought her to this very room to save her life, to open up a power and a new world to her. How long has he looked after her? In her head she unwinds the way her and Urahara's life weaves into the other. _"Each important moment he was there."_ her hands move in front of her face, her palms resting on her cheeks pondering each decision she made that brought her back to this place. High school was so lost and unknown, she mostly pushed herself forward on a day-to-day basis. With all those battles, was I really moving forward? Or was I just jumping from one crisis to another? Ugh, it's annoying to suddenly be unsure of her future again. _"She said to look at Kisuke. She said... I have to grow up. She said something my mother would to me." _Moving away changed nothing.

Ichigo isn't a planner. She is undeclared in college and life. Is Yoruichi-san right? Is she afraid to grow up and let things change? She only accomplished stranding herself from everyone that matters. _"I'm kidding myself thinking I was protecting my friends and family by leaving. I was really just running away from my own uselessness." _And there is Kisuke. Ichigo is certain he has noticed. He notices everything about her. How can she look him in the face after being such a coward?

Her eyes flick over in the brightly lit room to find Urahara standing perfectly still in a corner. Just looking at her with a seriousness that makes her feel uneasy. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Only the whole time." Giving her a silent smile he sets a tray on her lap. "How are you feeling?" he asks careful to keep his voice light.

"Fi-" she stops. Looking over at his small size she can't help but smile back at him. The truth... just tell him the truth. This chibi-version isn't as intimidating as the taller one. Opening up to this Urahara might be easier than the taller one with his eyes hidden and his thoughts shielded from her under a green and white striped hat. "I'm not fine. I can't even pick a major in college." she whispers tilting her eyes down to the food tray on her lap with a small blue vase. The small white daisy draws her eye, the tiny petals so pure and open.

"I see."

"My whole life someone else has been there to push me in the right direction. Mom, dad, Rukia, Yoruichi-san, most of all you." she finally confesses letting the emotion show in her voice. "I saw you..."

"Pardon?" Kisuke blinks at Ichigo surprised at the change in her expression. Her eyes are teared up and her pale face is showing a hint of fear.

"At college. You came to see me every day." She watches his small body shift nervously. "I waited for you to talk to me, but you never did. Why didn't you at least nudge-"

"I'm not your teacher any more." he lifts the hat off his head watching her hands curl into fists. _"Yes, that stings, but I can not teach you the next lesson." _Grinding his teeth Kisuke fights the urge to grab onto her, to comfort her. "Find your own answers Ichigo." With that said he walks out the door and runs into his lab locking the door. _"Leave her alone, Kisuke. Let her work it out. Helping her now would only make you a teacher and not-"_

"Urahara-san..." Ichigo puts a hand on the door with a determined face.

"Yes?" he whispers turning around and looking the thin divider keeping them apart.

"Don't save me this time." she says turning around to leave. "I'll figure it out and comeback when I have the answer."

"Yes, Kurosaki-san." his eyes close. Just as he planned, she picked the hardest path. Never once has she disappointed him, if only he could tell her that... if only she could see herself the way he does. Now, her health is worse. Ichigo didn't even ask him why she was laying in the bed. _"She has no memory of what happened." _Walking over to his lab table he lifts up the digital camera with a raised brow. "Well, I can do one thing. It's convenient that the holiday is near."

~/~

The Christmas chicken dinner with Yuzu, her father and Karin nearby is a much needed return to a sort of normal she felt before leaving. Home is truly a magical place, full of memories, full of forgiveness, and the happy faces of her family made it worth coming back for.

Ichigo says goodnight to the twins before heading in her room and sitting down at her old desk. The wood is warm and familiar under her palm as she slides her hand over the smooth surface. Yoruichi's words come back to her, pressing at a place in her gut. "People grow up, pick careers, choose a husband or wife, then carve out a life for themselves. How am I supposed to do any of that? I feel like I should be cleansing hollows and watching after my friends."

"It's natural to go through a few bumpy moments trying to settle back into your human life. You will adapt, Ichigo. I did it once, so I know you can too." Isshin says appearing in the door with a large lavender box in his arms.

"I can't even decide on a career, Dad!" she exclaims smacking her hands to the desk. "I'm... I'm just..." her voice falters for a moment as the emotion wells up in her. "I'm so pissed off!"

"Good. Anger means you still feel something." Isshin replies calmly setting the gift box on his daughters bed and turning to look her in the eyes. "If you are mad, be mad. Don't hide it, Ichigo. Growing up means accepting your feelings and then acting on them." Placing his hand on her shoulder he gives her a genuine smile. "You haven't totally given up then."

"I don't want to feel mad anymore. It's a terrible way to be." Ichigo tells him, her voice shattering and her eyes filling with tears. "But, I am not sure how to stop."

"Anger never really dies, Ichigo. You have to channel the frustration and fire in your stomach into something else." He pokes at her chest just below her neck. "Something that makes all the trials in life worthwhile."

"Like what?" she swat at his hand. _"I hate being the last to know something important!"_

"Here is your first clue." Isshin picks up the purple box on the bed and sets in in Ichigo's arms.

"You already-"

"Oh, This is from Kisuke Urahara." he waves a hand at her absent-mindedly as he turns toward the door. "About that phone call..."

"What phone call?"

His brow furrows suddenly as his hand flips open a pink cell phone Ichigo instantly reconizes as Yuzu's. "I gotta go dad, Kisuke is big again."

"Oh... I can-" Ichigo's eyes grow wide waiting for his response. "You recorded it!"

"I did." snapping the phone shut he gives her a wide grin.

"W-Why?" she scrambles over to him trying to grab the phone.

"It's not everyday a parent learns his daughter has been deflowered. I'm saving the-"

"THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED, YOU DIRTY OLD MAN!" Ichigo sends her knee into her father back sending him flying out the doorway. "I have NOT been sleeping with Kisuke!"

"He bought you a Christmas gift..." he grumbles rubbing at the back of his neck. "Y-You seriously haven't?"

"Hell no."

"Oh..." Isshin's frown deepens as his eyes take in the deep blush on Ichigo's cheeks. "Why not? Don't you like him?" he says with a pout, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"I-I am not sure... I-I certainly am not in lov-" she stutters wildly retreating into her room. "Oi! Y-You are supposed to be mad and forbid me to see him, not _encourage _me to have sex with him!"

"When do I _ever_ forbid you from doing anything?" Oh he is having a blast! Isshin knows her little mind is totally freaking out and that is more fun then getting angry and all over protective. "And the fun begins." Just thinking about how much she will squirm over the next few days is going to be so entertaining. "Let me know when you two finally get it on. I wanna thank Kisuke properly for taking on a difficult woman like you."

"I-I am not difficult!" she slams the door in his smirking face. The nerve of him! Not only is he scolding her for not having sex, but her insane, messed up, ass backwards father is going to be impressed with the guy who does? "What the hell kinda father does that!"

Wiping her hand down her face she approaches the bed and the package. Her eyes swish left then right. "Ha!" She points a finger at the pretty lavender box with skeptical expression. "It's a trick right?" Ichigo pokes her finger at the gift with a large white ribbon. "If open this and something disgusting crawls out and stains my bedroom floor, I'll break his neck!" Pulling on the ribbon she flips open the top of the box and pushes back the tissue paper. "Why... did he give me this?"

* * *

Sorry again about the lateness. Please send me some encouraging thoughts. I am ill and having to slow down now. Hehe, as a result I will only be focusing on fics that get the most response. My body just can't handle sitting at a laptop as long as I used too. So Please review! This fic is one of my favs^^ HUGS everyone Fuzzi


	6. Opening a new path

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Hush, Hush**_

_**She had wandered, without rule or guidance, into a moral wilderness. Her intellect and heart had their home... in desert places..." ~Hawthorne**_

**Chapter6; Opening a new path**

"Ok... that is not disgusting or going to stain my floor." she slumps on her bed, a scowl wrinkling her lips. "Damn it!" It would have been preferable if something gross did crawl out of that pretty lavender box. Instead she got THAT thing. Turning on her side she runs her hand over the top of the green and white material, her mind busy with memories of a time when a sword fit into her daily life and a man in a black haori would torture her with his zanpakuto.

"_Yes, your sword only speaks to me of absurd fear."_

Yanking her hand back from the hat nestled inside pale purple tissue paper, she runs her fingers through her hair. "He is right. All I do is fear. It's always about losing... battles, friends, powers! I need to think about keeping something for myself. Kisuke..." Sitting up in the bed she grabs the hat and pops it on her head. "I said I wouldn't go to him until I figure everything out." Smacking her hands to her cheeks she exclaims to her ceiling, "Why did I say that!" Glancing over to her wall mirror she looks at the floppy brim shadowing her eyes. Instantly her lips spread into a crooked grin like Kisuke would to her many times. "I wanna see his scruffy face."

"I'll be right there!"

"Ahh!" she screeches in shock, the hat flying up in the air. "W-Where are you?" Ichigo's head swishes around looking for the blonde shop owner.

"Over here." Kisuke taps at the computer screen of her laptop. "Surprise!" he beams with a wide smile secretly content just to see her face.

"Y-You hacked my laptop. Again!" Ichigo turns around putting her back to the screen with her arms folded in front of her chest. "You are a repeat offender."

"Would you like to be my parole officer? I could reform under your expert supervison." He lifts up his hand fan covering his grin, his eyes shinning just over the top. "Say, yes."

"How the hell did you turn on my web cam from across town?" she barks turning slightly toward the screen. He is tiny again? Ugh, she wishes he would fix that. He is probubly doing it to himself so he can perv on her without getting an ass-beating.

"I could tell you but then I would be omitting some details."

"Never stopped you before." Her brown eyes roll half-listening to him rambling about computers and the internet. Would she really hit him if he actually tried perving on her?

"I doesn't feel right anymore. For some reason I want to tell you..."

"Unhuh." she lifts a hand too lost in her own thoughts to pay any attention to Kisuke. Does he want to perv? Tilting her head, Ichigo considers the outcome. He would move close, and his lips would open. NO wait! She read in a shoujo guys stare at a girls lips before they pounce unsuspecting virgins. _"Fuck! I'm the virgin in this story! I'm going to get pounced." _Does she want Kisuke to perv and pounce?

"...I would come over but I don't want to-" Urahara notices her brows knit together. "I-Ichigo-san? Did I say somethin-"

"Tch." Stomping over to her closet she pulls out her private manga stash, then begins to thumb through the pages. Picture after picture telling her the same thing. Impossible! The guy _always_ wants to perv! The virgins never perv on the candy shop owners! Snapping the book shut she throws it back into her closet slamming the door with her right foot. _"He doesn't want to come over." _What the hell? And why does it bother her? No, No it doesn't!

"_Absurd fear... absurd fear."_

Her head shakes for a moment until she remembers the resolve she once had to find accomplish her goals. "Hey, Kisuke..."

"Yes?" he grows still now that her countenace looks calmer. It's normally easy to read her, and she is showing him a puzzling new face. _"She looks like she has decided something."_

"There is a playground halfway between you and I, near Orihime's old apartment." She flings open her closet grabbing her coat. "Meet me there." Snatching up the green and white striped hat she closes her laptop and darts from her room and down the stairs. Ichigo has no plan. And as she slips on her snow boots to leave the place she called home for eighteen years, her only thought is to run north. Forward she moves, thinking about what she should say, the door shutting behind her.

Snow crunches under her shoes, her path disturbing the frozen heavy snow. Down to her ankles she sinks making deep holes in her wake. Arctic air blasts her lips with a stinging reminder for her to keep in motion and not be captured by the deceptively pure blanket of snow.

Stumbling the last few strides she manages to catch herself from falling on a nearby street lamp. Caught up in the effort it took just to arrive, Ichigo realizes she is at the meeting place with no clear direction. Spotting him sitting on a swing, his chibi body wrapped up in an over size coat with only his large eyes and the very ends of his soft blonde hair sticking out from under a black hat. She ducks her head around the corner and catches her breath. "Ok, there is a mini-guy over there and... and he might... like you, Ichigo." She pulls out her cherry lip balm and slides it over her lips. "Don't screw it up by being... you. Ugh." she growls at herself snapping the lid on her chapstick then shoves the tube in her pocket. Turning the corner, Ichigo walks over to Chibi-tan to sit on an empty swing next to him. Finding the leather seat dry she looks at him with a brow raised. "You cleaned the snow off the swings?"

"Of course, I did." he answers softly, lifting his eyes up to her adorable white hat with mouse ears. "You... a mouse?"

"It's Yuzu's." she grumbles snatching the hat off her head. "I-I didn't have one to wear."

"You do though. I made sure of it." His childish face pouts glancing at her blushing reaction.

"Why did you give me your hat, Kisuke?" Pulling the hat from inside her coat she hands it to mini-Kisuke only for him to put it on her head.

"Now both of my favorite things are in one place."

"How cliché." she smiles, then leans over and kisses his cheek.

"But you secretly like it." Urahara quips back, feeling his feet touch the ground as he suddenly grows normal size. Gathering his courage he is finally willing to break the silence hovering around them. "What are we doing here in the middle of the night... freezing?"

"I wanted to-to make you big. That's all." Inwardly she groans. This is not what she wants to stay to him. "And... and..." The words will not come. She is losing the battle with herself. "Damn-" Starting to rise a hand gently puts her back in the seat.

The panic on her face is plenty of motivation for him to speak his mind. "So I earned one kiss through simple cuteness." He grabs the two long chains of her swing turning her to face him. "What do I need to do in order to get a second?"

The urge to make a joke and dart away, is there, but his voice echoes in the back of her head. That strong sound telling her to throw away fear is so potent. Her voice comes out in a low whisper. "Stay...Be the only thing I want to keep for myself."

"Of course... my Ichigo." he whispers, leaning his head toward hers only to bump the wide floppy brim of his hat. Urahara sees her struggling in her nervousness and lifts the hat from her head. "Ichigo?"

"Y-Yeah?" her voice barely heard despite the cold quiet night.

"May I kiss you now?"

"Yes..." Soon as she speaks her lips feel the touch of his. The first kiss, her first kiss so smooth and softer than she expected from a teasing man like him makes her eyes slip shut. Unable to do anything, she lets him kiss her, the heat and moisture of his lips pushing away the brisk wind. Arching her head, Ichigo feels his hands slip around her face holding her still, keeping the kiss delicate, as the tingling up her arms moves to her toes. _"He smells like cedar and something warm... I like it so much." _

His mouth slides over hers the tilting of her body giving him an advantage to press into her more. The sweet taste of her lip balm teases him to slip his tongue in her mouth, but he won't do that yet. He can wait... for next time. Instead his hands slide down her cheek to her shoulders and his arms wrap around her. Her scent, and her body cocoons him with wonderful sensations. The small moan escaping his throat and the tensing of his body tell him to back off. _"Not so fast Kisuke." _Breaking the kiss he gasps for air, his arms still holding her close.

"Kisuke?"

"I-I'm going to let go, don't worry." he reassures her, "Just one more minute. If you don't mind?" He adds quickly. _"What an odd scene, for something so fresh and new."_ he thinks to himself. All this cold white choking at the playground, and them... sitting in swings clinging to the hope of a beginning. _"From here everything changes."_

She can't help but smile, and wrap her arms around him. "You are so polite and proper. I kinda pictured you as one of those guys in a manga who pounces at a girl, a real perv."

"Are you disappointed?"

"No." she chuckles breathing in a deep breath of his scent. "I'm relieved. I'm new at this you know?"

"I will try my absolute best to suppress my perv." Kisuke reluctantly pulls away from her, the shared warmth thinning as they stand up. "Now, I might have a few moments of bad behavior-"

"Like hacking my laptop!" She walks next to him to the sidewalk. "Which by the way..."

"Consider it debugged." he says lifting a hand up and dropping his hat on her head. She is adorable, and way to important to push into too much. With a glance to his left he smiles at her. "I will never assume, I will always ask, and never treat you less than you deserve."

"A genuine _Old-fashioned _guy. Next thing I know you will be asking my dad for permission to date me." She says turning the corner only to find her sister smiling and her dad giving Urahara a big thumbs up. "You called him!" she rips the hat off her head and starts hitting him with it. "Is nothing in my life private?"

"I-Isshan-san made me promise!"

"You two look cold." Isshin nods toward the clinic. "Come on inside and warm up. Unless you would rather take her back to Shoten and snuggle there." he adds with a wide grin.

"D-Dad!"

Isshin Kurosaki laughs the whole way home, the twins teasing Ichigo until she is the color of a ripe strawberry. It's good to have Ichigo's noise filling the void left by her departure. And when his girls go into the clinic side to get extra towels Isshin smacks a hand against the wall next to Kisuke. "Urahara Kisuke!"

"Yes?" The unfazed blonde sips at his hot chocolate.

"Welcome to the family!" he bellows with a big grin as the girls pass by them on the way to the kitchen. Soon as the pass from earshot his smile fades into a scowl. He doesn't say anything just stares directly in Kisuke's eyes... one minute ticks by, then another. "Glad we understand each other."

"Perfectly." Urahara answers, then sips his drink again.

"Dad, you aren't being all stupid and threatening-"

"No, not at all." Isshin pats Urahara's back making hot chocolate spill all over his clothes. "Right, Kisuke?"

"Of course not, Isshin-san."

"You made him spill his drink!" Ichigo yells at her father, then instantly turns to Kisuke. "Are you burned?" she asks in a quiet voice.

"I'm Fine. Fine." Urahara waves a hand at her.

"You can't keep screaming around a guy! He won't think you are kawaii and sweet!" Isshin barks back at her.

"I don't care about being kawaii and sweet!" Ichigo takes Urahara cup from him just as he is about to take another sip. "Come on Kisuke I'll walk you home."

"Um, well Ichigo-san. The guy is supposed-" his voice falls away looking at her irritated expression. "Yes, please walk me home."

~/~

Stepping into the entrance to the shoten a smile plays at Kisuke's lips as the they toe off snow from their boots. Ichigo is here, next to him not as a student or for any other reason than to be near him. The invisible glow in his chest breathes in and out, growing larger with her presence. Like finding god, his soul is satisfied and the hint of her lip balm on his mouth is soothing. He leans over to whisper in her ear when she suddenly grabs him and kisses him.

In true Ichigo fashion she has surprised and surpassed her fears and lunged forward with their relationship leaving him spinning for solid ground. Tumbling to the floor he manages to land on his back cushioning her fall. Unable to speak from her demanding kiss, his hands clinch at the fabric of her snug fitting coat. Shutting his eyes he loves the feeling of her body on his. Her wet lips laced with a hint of cherry slide over his, the breaths between them becoming scarce. Pressing his palms against the hard wood flood he leans his head up to return the passionate kisses she is giving him. The air around him is feather light, so thin he craves her skin to fill the void. Shaking his he lifts away from her muttering an apology.

"I-It's fine." she answers unsure why he retreated so quickly. "No really it's-"

"I need to tell you something." Rubbing at the back of his head he grabs her laptop she brought along from her book bag. He motions from her to follow him into the next room. Sliding the door shut behind him he hooks up her laptop and begins pushing buttons. Somethings he needs to talk about. To verbalize all his thoughts means it's impossible to accept failure. There can be no room for secrets now, they are coming together in this incredible way.

Leaning against the corner of his desk she watches him work with a hint of curiosity, but mostly just happy to be with him like this again. "So... does the world need saving or someone been kidnapped?" Ichigo laughs nervously trying to hide the hint of insecurity streaking through her blood.

"If it was something like that it would be easy." Kisuke responds standing from the stool and turning the small laptop so the screen so she can see the image. "Still happened the very first night after you moved into your apartment."

"But I moved last-" her face suddenly goes pale at the image of her waking from her sleep and rising from the bed. "I'm sleep walking?"

"No." Kisuke says looking over at her, just dreading the next part. Her screech and the splattering of her blood to the floor makes him shut his eyes. Listening his hand he pauses the footage just as his shape comes through her window.

"I don't remember that." Ichigo stares at the screen in disbelief. "W-What is that?" she says pointing at the black object piercing her stomach. "Did I stab myself?"

"Your mind isn't aware of what your soul is doing while you are unconscious." Biting at his lower lip he continues to tell her. "That I believe is Zangetsu trying to manifest in the real world. That was the first night you spent away from Karakurra town and your family. You were upset and your soul sleep I believed called out to him."

"I don't have any powers. How is this possible?" Ichigo pushes play and watches Urahara cradling her bloody body in his arms.

"Your body remembers, your soul... you have been hungering for you powers to return. In this state.. like a deep meditation you reached inside and found him."

"Zangetsu... but I don't hear him!" She stumbles backward, stopping when she feels a hand on her back.

"You are too lost and insecure. The more you distance yourself from your real feelings, the less you are listening to what you heart to trying to tell you." Pressing pause on the screen his right hand clinches at the painful reminder of the horror he witnessed.

"I-I have no scars... oh... the cuts." She turns to look at him. "How long have you been healing me?"

"From the very beginning."

"But this is great! I'm getting my powers back right?"

"Zangetsu is trying to appear in a way he was never intended. The real world isn't his place." He puts a hand on her chest over her heart. "The spirit world and the real world are meant to be separate for a reason."

"How can I get him back?" Ichigo points to Urahara's cane. "Come on and pop me out of my body and see what happens."

"I can't do that... The soul can only take so much pain." His hand lifts to her chin, the sadness on his face, making Ichigo's expression shift from happiness to worry. "Your soul was damaged when you used the Final Getsuga Tenshou. It's fractured like pieces of a shattered dream."

"Come on Kisuke. You are a genius just figure out how to put the pieces together, and bam!" She smacks her hands together. "I'm back in business."

"The only conclusive way is direct transfer."

"Then let's do it-"

"You could die!" Kisuke raises his voice, and watches her startle in response. "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to yell at you." Turning around his eyes shut in regret. "Your soul is so fragile right now. I was hoping that contact with more shinigami or your family might-"

"Oh... I see." she whispers her eyes lowering to the floor. That is why he would come to school and why she needed to come home. Shaking her head she shrugs it off. "Well if I don't get them back I don't, right?" Ichigo smiles warmly reaching deep inside to claw up a lighter way to end the talk. "No big deal."

"If Zangetsu doesn't stop... he _will_ kill you." Urahara turns back around and pulls her into his arms. "You must not get upset. Do not call out to him. This next time... might be the last. When you were here before he punctured your lungs, next could be your heart."

"A-Alright. Well I'll stay all cool and aloof Ichi and no problems."

Kisuke kisses her again, both content to hide the unspoken worry flowing between their souls. Grabbing her laptop she waves goodnight to him and runs up the road turning the curve toward her house.

He looks after her swallowing the urge to run after her and put her in his bed next to him. However, he would be to tempted to take more than her generous nature is prepared for. And the knowledge of her illness weighs heavy on the blooming relationship they are fighting to begin.

"Gonna do it, Kisuke?" Yoruichi says poking her head around his lab door. "Gonna give it all up to save her this time?"

"Of course. I love her..."

* * *

**Whew~! Ok this is the rewrite. I hope you like it cuz I worked very hard on making it special. Thanks for the support and I hope you look forward to the next chapter. HUGS YOU ALL! Fuzzi**


	7. Unbreakable Bonds

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**Thank you to those who helped me out by reading it and telling me what needed improvement.**

_**Hush, Hush**_

"_**And be the stern and sad truth spoken, that the breach which guilt has once made into the human soul is never, in this mortal state, repaired." ~Hawthorne**_

_**Chapter 7; (Unbreakable) Bonds**_

"I'm in trouble." Kisuke mutters. "Big trouble." Being smart enough to know he is fighting the urge to follow after the lovely woman who just waved good bye. Kisuke does the only thing a guy like him would do. He takes a shower to clear his head. Stepping out of the stall with a red towel over his wet head he slips on his bathrobe. Walking over to the bathroom mirror he swipes a hand over the layer of condensation to stare at his own face. "Ichigo..." Checking his face for cuts from shaving he wonders if he should resist the compulsion to go to her. _"If go over there I will want to touch her." _

Shaking his head he pulls the towel away exposing his wild blonde hair. What if he uses the excuse that he is protecting her? "No." he sighs, that would only make Ichigo angry. Making Ichigo frustrated is fun, but making her angry isn't.

Dropping his towel in the hamper near the door he moves into his lab sitting down on his thinking stool. The hem of his bathrobe parts exposing his long pale legs. So many things he could be doing pop into his head... But there is only one thing he _wants _to do. He can't do that! Ichigo-san is trusting him to not perv and pounce. Even though he wants to do that _and _more he prides himself on his self control. _"I'm strong like an oak!"_

Just for a moment the image of her all demure and shy... face glowing with passion flicks in his mind. Her hair down over her shoulders and one side of her silky Hello Kitty shirt is askew showing golden colored skin. She looks at him and says with a breathy tone, "But... Kisuke I've never done this before."

He jerks up from the stool deciding that his 'thinking chair' has betrayed him. Picking it up he chucks it in his closet with the rest of the old shinigami training equipment. Sliding open the next divider he walks over to get dressed, the blinking red light on his laptop going unnoticed.

_**Twenty minutes earlier...**_

Ichigo turns the corner toward the clinic, the snow still falling so fast the roads are thick with blankets of white. Her thoughts racing far ahead of her into an unknown future. Suddenly stopping she considers returning to the shoten and the warm embrace that was stolen by the cold winds. The clinic and her family home is just a simple right past the next intersection.

The place she grew up, went to school... ate uncounted nights at the dinner table with her sisters. She loves them, that is certain, but the more she thinks about what is waiting back at the shoten, the more she wonders which place she belongs. "I didn't think it through." her breath puffs, the steam caught in the next bluster of wind. Both are places with memories... good and bad. Both with people Ichigo wants to be with. "With Dad, Yuzu, and Karin I have this world." Turning her head toward the Shoten her hands tighten their hold on the strap of the bag around her shoulders with her laptop tucked inside.

The heavy snow is already filling her footprints making her marks vanish. "What can I offer Kisuke?" She isn't apart of that world. The shinigami's are long gone. Everything she did probubly locked away in some book in Soul Society. She never set out to be apart of them, but it didn't stop her from being... proud. Her power can't even be allowed to surface for fear of killing her. Ichigo's head turns back in the direction of her house, her feet dragging through the snow. "They are waiting for me."

"_Tch... Acting worse than a damn hollow."_

Her head lifts up the strange voice echoing inside her so familiar. _"Is it him? The hollow inside is dead. It cant' be... Even he gave everything up." _Lifting a hand to her chest she touches the spot over her heart. It's felt so empty without his presence, without... her powers.

"_I'm not gonna have it Ichigo..."_

The brisk arctic wind changes, Ichigo can feel something there now... something dark and the creeping up her spine tells her what she thinks is true before her head can turn to look at it. Her eyes grow round, as the image of her hollow, blurry and distorted comes into view. _"That part of me is dead..."_

"You have something I want."

"Im-possible." she whispers and suddenly the white shinigami robes blow away like snow. "W-What do you want from me?" Blinking her eyes focus on a new shape with long black wings, and an unmistakable hollow hole in it's breast.

"Your soul." The beast says, it's long hollow mask shaped into a beak.

"Shit!" Ichigo's hand instantly reaches up to her shoulder. "Shit!" She stands there for a moment trying to figure out what to do, her hands clutching at the laptop shoulder bag in fear. _"No powers... I have nothing..." _Oh god the fear, wells up as she sees it's mouth open and the wingspan circle around her.

_"You must not get upset. Do not call out to him. This next time... might be the last." _

Kisuke's voice echoes in her ears as she watches the black feathers of the huge hollow-bird scatter with the wind. The feathers vanish only to reveal metal dagger-like feathers underneath. _"Ok... be calm Ichi." _

The hollow ripples it's metal feathers watching his prey covering her ears in pain. "It hurts I know. But... I will be quick with you. After all... you are weak."

Ichigo's upper lip curls in disgust. It's pitying her. Something she hasn't felt in a long time. _"I hate this feeling... this powerlessness!"_

The bird's beak cracks against the road missing it's target. Ichigo dodges rolling under a wing unsure exactly where to go. It's too far back to the shoten... She has no options, and nowhere to go that is safe.

"_Untrue! There is a barrier over your house... Isshin-san is very protective of his girls."_

Oh that's right. Her eyes narrow in determination. Exhaling a deep breath she dodges a large wing and makes a mad dash for her house. If she can just run home. But, she is running away, and it's pissing her off.

"Run, run my little snack." The birds calls after her chuckling at the pointlessness of the tiny human girl with long orange hair.

"_Just keeping moving."_ she tells herself, her feet struggling through the deep snow and fast gusts of wind. Suddenly her shoulder is hit by a wing. Stumbling Ichigo lands on her stomach in the middle of the road.

"Your blood pumping fast now? Isyour soul quaking in fright?" The bird slashes at the girls back to hear her scream in pain. "All you souls are the same to us hollow. Faceless, empty, prey..."

"We are the faceless ones? Look in a fucking mirror!" she growls managing to rise to her feet and throw her laptop at the beast. Cringing inside she turns away from the hollow-bird and makes a final dash toward her house. She isn't the same Ichigo. The power is gone... the sword, the pride, the confidence. It's all just fucking gone...

"Your kind live to feed us... just lay down and DIE already!" The bird screeches growing impatient. It leaves the ground taking to the sky, it's talon's ready to sink into the bleeding defiant woman running. "Come now! Be my victim!"

"I'm not a victim." Ichigo's hands clench in anger. She stops in her tracks and lifting her eyes up to the bird lunging toward her. Staring down at her empty palm she begins to breathe deep cleansing breaths searching her soul for an answer... "Zangetsu... I know you are there."

"_Stay calm... don't call out to him. You could die!"_

But the fight rises inside her. Stirring and stretching to be let lose. Its practically raging under her skin."I'm sorry Kisuke..." Ichigo feels it, the tip of a blade wanting to tear through her chest and slice into the hollow. Her eyes shine brilliant and blue just for a moment. "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki... I'll never be a victim."

Everything goes red, even the snow against her face as she hits the ground. "Is this it...? How I die?" Just as her eyes close she can see wooden sandals... an arc of more red and then eyes... beautiful blue filled with worry. Her hand reaches out to touch his pale face, bloody fingers marking crimson lines down his cheek. _"Damn... Kisuke is going to be sad."_

~/~

Isshin Kurosaki and Ryuken Ishida speak in hushed voices near the bedside of an orange haired girl with an oxygen mask covering her face. Both men tired from a lengthy surgery and hiding the inevitable truth about Ichigo's condition discuss her prognosis.

"I take it a spirit transfer is out of the question with her brittle soul power?"

"No." Isshin replies wiping a hand over his mouth feeling the scratch of his five o clock shadow despite it being seven in the morning. "She isn't responding to healing kidou at all."

"If this was an ordinary human I would tell the parent's to prepare them-"

"Hey!" Isshin grabs Ryuken's white coat. "She is a fighter."

"I said if." He reminds his friend looking down at the trembling hand clutching his doctor's coat. "Put her in a coma let her physical body rest. Then... hope for the best."

Kisuke watches the exchange from the small hallway in the Kurosaki clinic. Isshin insisted Ichigo stay here where her family could watch over and care for her. _"I can't do anything to help her... not her human side." _Tasting the frustration in his mouth, he swallows down the bitterness of his own blood. After Ryuken leaves the blonde shop owner reluctantly steps inside the patient room with his hat in his right hand. He can't think of a single thing that he should say, only what _Not_ to say. _"What would apologies do for her?" _So he remains silent as Isshin injects something into Ichigo's IV.

"Three days..."

"Pardon?" Kisuke looks over to the opposite side of the bed.

"If she is going to make it..." he says pointing a hand at the monitor with Ichigo's brain and heart activity displayed. "These numbers have to remain steady for three days. If they begin to fall..."

"I understand, Isshin-san." he whispers lifting his lowered head to look at Ichigo's pale face. _"She lost so much blood." _He has seen her bleed and fight and claw to live, but now watching her like this is unbearable.

"Wipe off your face." Isshin says between clinched teeth roughly pushing a towel in Kisuke's empty hand. "So her sister's don't cry when they see you."

"Yes." Kisuke says quietly. Sensing the man's distress he moves to the small bathroom to wash his face. If Isshin-san is angry then Ichigo is in real danger of dying. With her soul power so minute, her death would mean instant transferal to Soul Society, losing her memory, and becoming a resident of Rukongai. Flicking the light on he looks up at his reflection staring with wide eyes at the crimson fingerprints on his face. "Ichigo." Kisuke turns on the tap splashing cold water on his face. The blood runs down his face pooling in his hands. Her blood washes away too quickly, too easily.

Wiping his face with a towel he drops it in a nearby hamper and returns to Ichigo's bedside. His deep blue eyes staring intensely at her sickly pale face as he sits in a small chair pulled close to the bed. "I've been thinking a lot lately, Ichigo-san." he whispers, taking her hand and holding her fingers to his face in the same place where the blood was just washed away. "Many things connect people to each other." Looking over to her chest he can see the bandages wrapped around her shoulders where the hollow cut deep into her skin. "Words with promises and passion, or deeds with blood and steel." Fighting the lump in his throat his shoulders tremble slightly. "They have value and fill spaces inside us giving our hearts a sense of wholeness, a connection to each other. That bond is what we call _love_."

Shutting his eyes, Kisuke slides her cold hand over his cheek. "You fill every space inside me." Lowering his head he listens to the beeping of her heart monitor. He grows silent lost in his own thoughts for a few moments. "But... Ichigo... I haven't done right by you. The pain you going through is my fau-"

"I thought we already talked about this?"

"I-Ichigo?" His eyes grow round in surprise at Ichigo standing next to him. "You left your own body?"

"Yeah, I have no idea how. I just... kinda followed your voice." she tells him scratching at her head. "Kisuke..." Ichigo's voice whispers in a gentle tone. "Is is so hard to be forgiven?"

"It's unbearable." he replies in with a gasp. Rising up from the chair his arms reach for her aching to touch her and hold her close. "How can I just let you make everything so easy?" His hands lift to her smiling face, instead of feeling her soft cheeks they slip right through. "Oh, no."

"Weird." Ichigo instantly tries to punch him only to feel air. "What the hell?" Looking down at her chest she sees the broken chain of fate over where he heart should be. "How... did I get this back? And why can't I touch you?"

"Ichigo..." Urahara's face suddenly looks deathly serious. "I swear... I will fix this."

"I know you will." she replies folding her arms in front of her chest thrilled he made her a promise. She knows he will fix her, and after he does, maybe show her that passion he was talking about. Then he will be able to see that their bond isn't from words or deeds... _"It's unbreakable faith in you, Kisuke."_

_

* * *

Hey all! I know this chapter is a bit short. But for the next part I needed a break cuz it's gonna be a long one. =) Hope you don't mind. I wanna say thanks to everyone sticking with me through this fic. I really adore this couple. Please drop me a review it means a lot to me^^_


	8. Fix You

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**I would like to send my sincere thoughts and prayers to the people of Japan who are going through so much crisis right now.**

"Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen."

_**Hush, Hush**_

_**She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne **_

_**Chapter 8; Fix You**_

Faintly recognizing heavy steps coming up the corridor Kisuke blocks out everything in his mind but the woman in the bed. Ichigo is still in her coma and nothing he has tried so far is working to solidify her soul, and to make matters worse her human vital signs have dropped two percent. A small number but by human standards it's grave. The monitor beeps out a steady droning of sadness as he hurriedly picks up his journal and scribbles more notes.

"It's been a day and a night." Isshin leans on the door frame to the small clinic exam room he has converted into a hospital room. "You will think better with some sleep." he tells the ragged faced man before turning to leave. "She _asked_ me to tell you that." The whole thing stirs nothing but anger in Isshin. He has been alive for hundreds of years and learned to control his anger, but his daughter... his wife's precious legacy teetering on the edge of death makes his blood boil.

"Isshin-san... where is Kurosaki-san?" The blonde scratches at his face with a pencil trying to appear cool and indifferent. However, inside he is in a mire. One defeat after another Ichigo still remains in a weak spirit form, thin and untouchable. Nothing is working for him. Each and every test only makes the whole thing more impossible.

"Ichigo, is in the main house tucking her sisters in bed." he tells Kisuke walking down the hall to the section of the home where they live. It's not right to take it out on Urahara so he keeps his distance and lets the man do what he does best. _"Think of something and save the day, Kisuke."_

It's a relief that Ichigo-san isn't here at the moment. Kisuke can focus more on his task and not be distracted by her presence. Just knowing she is close by makes his hands tremble and then his mind wonders to places his hands haven't even touched. A new plan comes to mind and he begins writing furiously in the journal. The problem is her soul, it's so weak from losing her powers. It's thin and brittle and on the inside it's nothing but a floating liquid. How can he transfer a burst of energy into her without making the whole thing break? The numbers don't lie... if he did transfer shinigami powers to her, her soul would shatter. The complete destruction of a soul is beyond death, and highly forbidden. _"Ichigo-san would cease to exist. That is an unacceptable risk."_

Snapping the book shut he sets it on a small table Isshin-san brought in for him to work on. His eyes instantly lift to her sallow face. The answers... refuse to come. Kisuke won't sleep until he has an answer, he could never just set aside puzzles without know the solution. But Ichigo isn't a puzzle she is... _"My someone." _

Suddenly her heart monitor flat lines and Kisuke dashes to the hallway. "Isshin-san!" he screams loudly, his voice cracking from the emotion streaking through him. "Her heart stopped!" Ishida-san and Isshin san rush past him in a rush. They both start working on her in a flurry of activity. Kisuke can only watch and press his back harder against the wall. Focusing on her heart monitor he stares at the thin white line. _"Move..." _He can't help. Only Isshin-san and Ishida-san can fix her human side. _"Come on... MOVE!" _ Biting at his lower lip his ears despise the blaring sound of her still heart. The beeping is gone, now this terrible long screeching sound is the only thing filling the air. Needing to hear it beep again he takes a step toward the end of the bed cringing inside each time they charge the heart paddles and shock her again. Unable to even breathe his eyes slip shut as Karin and Yuzu dash into the room. _"Come on, Ichigo..."_

"Ichi-nee just vanished!" Yuzu cries out holding her sister's arm noticing the heart monitor her eyes fill with hot tears. Both girls glance at Urahara's calm face and frown.

"Someone save Ichi-nee for once!" Karin yells so incredibly damn tired of this bullshit. "Please!"

Urahara's eyes pop open and he heads for his cane sitting on the edge of the table he was working at. Clutching it he pulls the sword from the pale wood encasing it and it instantly reacts taking the shape of his shikai. His mind isn't calm, this isn't like him... he should do things logically. Direct transfer could kill her, or save her. Either way his life as a shinigami is over. They will hunt him and he will be forced to leave this woman to protect her. _"I'll fix you, Ichigo... It's what I do. I fix things, create things to make life better, to protect." _Lifting the blade he moves over to the side of the bed and turns Benihime toward her chest.

"What are you doing?" Ryuken frowns reaching a hand out to Kisuke. "You said she would die if you do that."

"I can't let her go." he whispers moving his blade toward her chest and large hand wraps around the end of the blade. "Don't leave me behind."

"I got her! A heartbeat... look." Isshin points to the monitor as a single beep echoes, the white line turning red and lifting to the rhythm of her heart. "She is back..."

In a next few minutes the room feels so crowded, so full of chaos to his mind. The sisters are crying, Isshin and Ryuken are disagreeing how to treat her, and Urahara just wants to breathe again. Kisuke slips into the bathroom for a moment of solace. Dropping his sword to the ground it shifts back into the dormant cane. His hand shakes moving to lock the door. This isn't good, he is not handling this like he thinks he should. Glancing up in the mirror he stares at his ragged reflection.

He might as well take a shower to re-energize himself. If she is fighting to live, He'll keep working on a answer. Stripping off his clothes he steps in the shower twisting the shower knob to spray against his skin. Hot water streams over his shoulders and now his back, the pressure and steam relax him enough for a small gasp to escape his throat.

"Ichigo... Don't you dare die on me." The facade he is so used to keeping up crumbles. Pressing his palms to the shower wall he head tilts down allowing the water to flow down his face. His mouth parts, the water slipping between his lips as they curl in fear. _"My knees are shaking..." _How long has it been since he felt this kind of fear? _" It was when she left to face Aizen on her own... I was terrified I wouldn't get there in time." _

Shaking his head he finishes his shower, dresses and returns to the small table with his books and papers scattered all over them. However, now a small tray of food is on top of them with a note.

"Feed your brain! ~Ichi"

Chuckling under his breath he opens the small container and begins to peel a hard boiled egg. She must have had one of the sister's write this up before... Lifting his eye straight ahead he sees her chest lifting as she sleeps. Why is it so easy to destroy, and so difficult to save? Walking up to her bedside he tucks her arms under the soft blue quilt Karin and Yuzu brought by. _"_What horrible race we shinigami are. We wrap our whole existence around taking lives and spend only the minimum on saving them."

"Oi... I'm half shinigami and I'm kinda_ involved_ with one."

"I know." he whispers turning around and finding Ichigo hovering behind him with a smirk. "Only kinda involved? I'm hurt... very hurt that you don't love me yet." he says nonchalantly. This is good... light he can handle, what happened in the shower he can't. The pain of it is still lingering in his chest. Lifting a finger to his lips he reminds himself once again to keep it wrapped up. To keep it hushed and not verbalize the terror he just went through.

"So I died eh? You know... it's never felt creepy until now."

"Pardon?" he blinks not following her train of thought.

"Seeing my empty body. It's weird... You know I'm me but, just without me. Kinda like a shell." she says leaning over her own body to look at it closely. However she slants her eyes toward Kisuke's and sees him wincing. Whirling around on one foot she leans over his shoulder trying to decipher his handwriting. "Kisuke..."

"Yes?"

"If you are upset just be upset!" She tries to hit him on the shoulder only to slip right through him. "Gah! That's freaky."

"I-I'm fine. I'm focused. I can fix you." He replies in a calm tone trying to look busy. It's futile he just has no idea how to make her soul firm again but admitting that to her is unthinkable.

"At least finish eating." she whispers taking a step back. "You will feel bet-" The words can't come out. He looks so sad and utterly alone. "I guess food won't really help right now." Ichigo looks at his wet hair dripping down his sleeves and soaking into the stack of papers on the desk. More alive to her now than ever before she aches to slip her fingers through his damp hair and curl herself around him. Now impossible to touch, she longs to comfort him, and feel his freshly washed skin against hers. "Hey... Kisuke?"

"Yes, Ichigo?" he says flicking an eye up to her face then back to the page... then back up to her face again. "Are you feeling alright? You look... flushed."

"I want you to kiss me." Ichigo leans over his shoulder again just in time to see the pencil snap in his hand. "Please?" She moves over on the opposite side of the bed. Maybe she will feel him, and he will her. She is almost smell his shampoo. _"He is hurting and I can't help him. I have to do something."_

"Ohhhh, I would... really, really like that. If I cou-" he voice dies away as she points a hand at to her human body. "Oh, Ichigo-san... " Standing up he walks to the opposite side of the bed and shakes his head. "You aren't in this body. Like you said it's a shell. The part I adore is-"

"I'm like the slimy stuff inside the egg?" Throwing her arms up in the air she grumbles. "Too bad you can't just shove me back in the egg and boil like Yuzu did your dinner..."

"What did you say?" He walks back over to the desk and lifts the hard boiled egg up in the air. "Ichigo... you are brilliant."

"Oh first time I've heard that. So wait..." she calls after him as he walks out the doorway. "Why do I have a bad feeling I'm going to be cooked?"

~/~

_**Thirty minutes later at Urahara's shoten in the underground training room;**_

"This is stupid." Ichigo frown clutching the bathrobe tightly around her body.

"Not really." He replies stripping off his shirt and walking over to the chair Ichigo is sitting in. "Lets go for a swim, shall we?" Picking her up carefully he walks slowly to the hot spring.

"Do you really think dunking me in water is going to fix me?" she asks, staring down at the dark blue healing water. Relieved she insisted on everyone else getting the hell out she tightens the belt around her waist trying to ignore the fact that Urahara is carrying her like she is a helpless baby. Not that she minds... she was woke from her coma and her spirit was yanked back into her body. _"I really like his hair. It looks so soft."_ Gingerly lifting a hand up she almost touches the messy blonde locks before he steps to the edge of the water.

"Think of it like a holy baptism." He says glancing down at her long legs as the robe parts from her movements. _"My thoughts aren't so holy... she looks beautiful in pure white." _She expressed interest in him, even asked if he would kiss her. Oh his mind needs to focus on the task at hand. Kisuke gave his word he wouldn't pounce on her, but pouncing is exactly what he wants to do. He would like nothing more than to drop in that water with her screaming in protest under him. "Ready?" He swallows a knot in his throat as her right hand tugs at the belt. Slanting his eyes up to the high ceiling of the training room he feels her shift in his arms.

"Damn." she hisses in pain from the deep cuts on her shoulder. "I-I kinda need your help. My left arm won't lift, my shoulder is too messed up." Ichigo blushes dark red, just asking him to help remove her clothes is so embarrassingly frustrating. "Sorry to ask you to do this."

"I'm not a stranger, Ichigo." he tells her with a soft tone in his voice stepping to the edge of the water gently peeling off her robe, and averting his eyes as much as possible. "T-The special water I have formulated should heal your soul, but unfortunately it won't heal your human body. I had to make this water twenty times more potent than normal to accommodate for your weakness."

"Weakness sucks." Ichigo mumbles trying not to show her discomfort. The stitches on her shoulder are pulling at her torn flesh stinging and burning with pain up her arm. Wrapping her arm around his neck her fingers graze his hair. She smiles slightly finally touching it, it's as soft as she hoped it would be. As much as she resents being fragile she is content to be like this with Kisuke. The comforting sensation of his smell and his touch is more than enough to deal with the disadvantage of being totally at his mercy.

"Hold onto me." Kisuke feels her fingers tighten at his neck and he carefully lifts her with one arm. Delicately his hand slips away the robe exposing her body to the bold lights of the vast underground chamber. He takes a deep breath to concentrate, the sensation of her bare skin against his chest gives him a hazing sensation in his head. Taking a step down into the water he releases the robe to the ground to return his free hand under her legs. "M-Maybe we should have Isshin-san do this." Kisuke starts to turn around and head back for the exit fighting the blood rushing through his veins.

"No way! It's your idea, and I only trust you to do this so shut up and get in the water!" Ichigo exclaims clamping her eyes shut too afraid to see where he might be looking. It's strange to be naked with him. For so many years he has only been one thing... and it was a comfortable solid thing; a mentor, someone to look up too. Now, like this, in his this place alone it's all mixed up in her heart. _"I'm wanting him... wanting him to hold me closely, preciously like I'm important to him."_

"Here we go..." Corrected by her firm words he moves back to the spring and steps into the water. "For twenty minutes I will release my reiatsu in a very low stream blending with the water and become-"

"Part of my shell?"

"Right... the idea is that your soul is an egg yoke and needs more cushioning like the shell of an egg. So I'm using my reiatsu with the healing water to do that expanding the shell part around the yoke and better protecting the soul inside." he answers taking a deep breath and watching a small band of water lift out of the water forming a liquid chain. The chain connects with the tiny bit of the chain of fate inside her body. His eyes suddenly turn pale blue as the link solidifies. Her reiatsu instantly expands accepting him easily. It's a relief, most souls would fight the intrusion but Ichigo's personality is so open and flexible she draws him with ease.

"Am I too heavy?" Ichigo asks hearing a sigh from him and his hands tightening around her legs and hips. She feels soft next to him, something safe even... it's something she didn't realize she even wanted.

"Not at all Ichigo. I am much stronger than I look."

"Yeah... you-" A sinking sensation steals her breath. All at once she sees things for Kisuke's past. His comrades falling in battle to Aizen's experiments, the frustration he felt standing before the central forty-six. The panic he in his bones trying to save the everyone from dying and then the images shift to her face... her blood flowing in the rain, the excitement he felt fighting her, the worry... the overwhelming worry for her as her powers vanished. She has done this before, with Zangetsu when she crosses blades with someone, but this is on a whole other level. Ichigo can feel everything, literally taste the blood in his mouth as he struggles with his own weakness.

"_I will keep it all hush, hush..."_

Unable to stop herself she leans up to his ear, her voice barely above a whisper, "I'm not going to leave you, and it's alright to tell me you love me."

His fingers suddenly tightening and his head tilts to hers. "I love you so much." he gasps letting his emotions escape through the trembling of his shoulders. "I almost lost you... so many times. It's unbearable. You are necessary to me."

"Then, we stay together from now on." Her hands touch his cheeks tugging him to look at her. "No matter what..."

"Happens." he says sliding his lips over hers. The water chain suddenly shatters and they break apart, both looking at each other with a sense of anticipation. Kisuke quickly but carefully treads out of the water grabbing the white robe from the ground and wrapping it around her body. "Whew.. glad that is over."

"Think it worked?" she asks sliding her limp arm through the white sleeve catching him staring at her shredded shoulder out of the corner of his eye. "Think you fixed me?" Ichigo smiles not even minding he is perving on her. Now it's a relief that he is. She wants him to... desire her.

"One way to find out." Kisuke clears his throat before tossing the soul candy to her. "Go on and see what happens." It has to work, it has too. He has to fix her.

"Here goes..." she pops the round pill in her mouth and swallows it down. Her body drops into Kisuke's arms and her spirit form is wearing a plain white robe. She quickly whirls around reaching out and touching his hair. "I-I'm me! You fixed me!"

"_No... Ichigo, you fixed me." _He says to himself with a wide smile thrilled to watch her grinning and touching his hair.. That one bit of understanding made him feel so incredibly relieved. He is happy, that he can break the horrible silence he enforced on himself years ago when he used her to defeat an enemy that could have destroyed so much of what he values. She said she wouldn't leave him, and that is exactly what he needed to hear. A promise, a vow, a bond from Ichigo is greater that any law Soul Society could enforce. "How do you feel?"

"Well, I think I have a bit of reiatsu, but not enough to kick anyone's ass." she trips on her own feet falling to the ground. "Ugh, and gravity doesn't like me, but I don't care!" Scrambling to her feet she dusts off her robe. "That was very uncool."

"You should be able to walk around with ease in a day or so." Holding Ichigo's human body they walk toward the stairs each glancing at the other with smiles. Allowing her to walk up the stairs first he can't help but snicker.

"You are looking up my robe aren't you!" Stopping dead in her tracks she tilts her eyes up to the ceiling.

"Well... there are two Ichigo's and it's just a bit overload for-"

"I'm the one you wanna touch. Not that one." she yells pointing over her shoulder without turning around. "Right?"

"Hai, Hai." he replies with a smile following her up the stairs and into the main part of the shoten. He certainly does want her, and should plan something special to make it happen. _"I have an idea! Hyuuu~!"_

* * *

_**Hey all! This was a challenge to write. Getting the right tone and pushing through some emotions and character development. The fic as a whole is very theme driven. Ichigo's path to maturity, Kisuke's need to forgive himself. These are difficult emotions for people to work through and being able to push past it while keeping them in character made me struggle and fight to not make it too heavy or too light. I hope you all enjoy it^^ and look forward to the next chapter. Thank you for reading and reviewing=) Fuzzi**_


	9. Burial Soul

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**Beta work by Tommo2304 HUGS YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES *cough yeah.. all that mushy stuff ;D**

_**Hush, Hush**_

_**But this had been a sin of passion, not of principle, nor even purpose. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne**_

_Chapter 9; Burial (Soul)_

"I hope you realize... that shinigami loves you."

"He told me." Ichigo replies shifting her weight to her other foot. "I get it."

"No, you weren't here when you died and the pain he went through. He was perfectly willing to sacrifice everything for you."

"I felt it when he fixed me. I saw and felt everything he feels for me." Folding her arms under her chest she shrugs trying not to act like a school girl and sparkle with love. She isn't sure she can sparkle...

"You saw his memories?"

"Yeah?" Noticing his sudden change in expression she asks, "What is it, Dad?"

"Nothing, now go tell him you love him too and make Masaki and grandmother." Isshin shoves her out the door slamming it in her face.

"Stop thinking about my sex life!"

By the time Ichigo returns to the shoten, the day is over and night is fast approaching. She had left with her father to visit her sisters and made it back in time for dinner. However, Tessai-san meets her at the door with a slight bow. "Where is Kisuke?" He lifts a long arm pointing her down the hallway to Urahara's lab. With a nod of thanks to Tessai she walks to the slightly ajar door and peeks inside.

Her lips stretch into a smile finding Kisuke inside wearing a robe and a bath towel over his head, his head lying in a hand as he sleeps sitting in a chair at his desk. "_He must have had a bath and fell asleep after." _Clueless how he can sleep that way she takes a step reaching out a hand to wake him, then rethinks it. Whirling around her hand grabs the door frame to walk away and let him sleep. "_How long can I pretend I want to take my eyes off him?" _Clamping her hand over her mouth, her eyes slip shut at the strange burning in her chest.

How do you tell someone you love them? Well she does love him, right? He is frustrating but he has redeeming qualities. "_Shouldn't I say something like...? You complete me or some flowery shit like that?" _Swiping a hand down her face she isn't sure she can do that! "_Kisuke deserves at least a lily's worth of passion. No way I can manage a rose... maybe a tulip? Ugh I suck at this; I need to put effort into it!" _Needing to think she opens her eyes and slips out the shoten to walk off her fears.

The tightness in her chest intensifies the farther away from the shoten. Looking up she find herself at the riverbank the thin cracked sheets of ice creating an imperfect surface on the water. If she walked out on the ice it would crumble. Ichigo would fall through and drop into the freezing waters below. The sunlight dips below the horizon and the dark stats to take over casting long shadows over her face. Is she living or dead? It's been such a long time since she felt part of either world.

Shivering from the biting cold her fingers curl at the red coat with a fur lined hood she grabbed at home. Reaching inside the pocket she pulls out Urahara's hat, the sudden smile on her lips makes the strangled feeling in her chest ease. "_Kisuke..." _It occurs to her that if she falls through the ice he would be the hand to pull her out. Things have shifted inside her though, and now she isn't under the ice, she isn't suffocating. What's the real problem? It pulls at her even deeper now. Her hand moves up to her chest. The images just refuse to stop until his face appears in front of her. That face glowing with power with his sword raised, and she met him on equal terms raising her own. Excitement crackles under her skin. The challenge, the hard-line only he gives her. Never once did he underestimate her. The ice snapping of the ice draws her head to lift up as the surface freezes over with the temperature dropping lower. The gap between river bank to the other city is solid, it's still treacherous, and she could still fall if she walked across, but it' there. The path from one place to the next. Her smile widens feeling warmth wrapping around her.

_"I love you so much." he gasps letting his emotions escape through the trembling of his shoulders. "I almost lost you... so many times. It's unbearable. You are necessary to me."_

_"Then, we stay together from now on." Her hands touch his cheeks tugging him to look at her. "No matter what..."_

_"Happens."_

"That's it." She knows what to say, and what to do. Kisuke is the same as her, living among the humans but shinigami still. "If he can do it so can I."

"_Tch... about time you figured it out. Stupid"_

"Shut up." she replies lifting the hat in her hand to her nose to smell his scent. All this time she thought she has to choose. Be one thing and not two. How ridiculous... she has always been able to push through any obstacle. "I _can_ have it all! I can be happy and love him!"

"Kurosaki-dono."

"What!" she screeches turning around with a panicked face. "You didn't hear me say it!"

"Urahara-dono asked me to give this to you." Tessai says lifting up Urahara's wooden cane and placing it in her hands. "He asks me to tell you not to return to the shoten... ever."

"What?" her voice tremble in confusion holding the sleeping zanpaktou in her palm. Suddenly a kidou activates from the cane, water snakes out from the hook locking into a place on her chest. "W-What is this?"

"I am sorry Kurosaki-dono." Tessai clamps his hands together with a regretful expression, pointing at her. Lifting a brow he can't help but wonder... "Do you really love Urahara-dono?" he asks lifting his hands apart and preparing the transfer kidou.

"I..." More images filter through her mind. A disagreement with Yoruichi. She is very unhappy about Kisuke's decision. It's drastic, but the only thing capable of giving Ichigo back the life she deserves. "What did he do?" Ichigo reaches out and grabs Tessai-san's hands. "Why am I seeing his life?"

"Soul transfer." His dark eyes peer down on her confused face. "It's a crime to give a human…"

"I know! Why? I thought I was fixed!"

"The links of the water chain are made from his reiatsu." Tessai tells her. "You live because he insists on it."

"_You are necessary to me."_

"Oh no... the shinigami are coming for him, right?" Her hands lift away from Tessai's and wrap around the links on the water chain. "When?"

"As we speak. Urahara-dono has asked me to take you away from this place so you are safe."

"To hell with that!" Ichigo starts yanking on the kidou chain trying to break it. "I'm not leaving him!"

"Why not? You are no longer his pupil." He asks leaning over her slightly. "He owes you much more the way I see it."

"I... Ugh it's horrible. I don't sparkle and I don't have any damn flowers." Exhaling a sigh of frustration she continues to yank at the water chain on her chest. "I just love him."

"That is the right answer." Tessai says instantly reaching out an snapping the chain with his bare hand. "Now... close your eyes and ears."

~/~

After the horrible light disperses and her eyes adjust she barely makes out a cold stare and a kidou crashing around her chest. "Fuck..."

"You are a fool." Comes a cold voice and a blade toward her. "Now you will die returning the powers you stole from another shinigami."

"Kuchiki-san! Don't! I'm begging you!" Kisuke's arms move quickly cracking his bound wrists against Hitsugaya's stomach. He runs toward her only to here a loud voice rumble the whole room in a terrifying reiatsu.

"Silence! I knew you would be trouble Urahara Kisuke and Kurosaki Ichigo." Yamamoto glides through a gate with the rest of the captains trailing behind him. "Such a ruckus over a clear violation. Did you not revive shinigami powers from this man?"

Dipping her lips into a deep frown she contemplates her answer. Her chest is already panting from the massive power the old fart is pressing on her. She can't say yes, or no. Either one is wrong. Shutting her eyes her grip his hat and the cane loosens, they both drop to the dirt of the underground training room. No way is the old man going to be happy with just her. "_Think Ichigo... think." _Slanting her eyes over to Kisuke's she manages a weak smile. "Kisuke... I'm... pissed at you for doing this without talking to me!" she yells out fighting the kidou holding her in place. "As if I would run away and let you take the fall!"

"I am not sorry." he tells her shifting his eyes over to the captain-commander. "I tricked her. She isn't to blame." Lowering his head he whispers, "Unlock."

Everyone gasps as he takes the form of a small child. The cane on the ground at Ichigo's feet crumbles to dust and a large triangle blue barrier erects around her.

"I'm human now." Kisuke lifts his hands sliding out of the bindings.

"Ho? You are playing a dangerous game Urahara Kisuke." Yamamoto walks over to the small child sliding his blade from his sheathe. "Do you think I will not take your life because you are powerless? Being shinigami is about blood not power. I don't mind killing a spoiled child."

"I found him like this at Kurosaki's apartment!" Soi Fon spits. "He planned this from the beginning! That man has always watched over her! He has lost his loyalty to the Gotei."

"No! Wait!" Ichigo fights the kidou pressing her hands to the blue shield. It's not right. Something is off here. "I saw Soi Fon at the apartment!" Ichigo's voice echoes through the large room. "If I was powerless I shouldn't have seen you! I was getting them back all along! And Zanget-"

"Bullshit. You saw me because he was already feeding your reiatsu." Narrowing her eyes she lifts a hand out picking up Kisuke by the collar. "Let's see what happens when I kill you. Will she die without your power feeding her?"

"Please don't do this Soi Fon!" Ichigo's screams hitting her fists to the shield. "_Help me Zangetsu... Help me. Are you still there for me? I can't lose him. I refuse to lose him!"_

"_The price is heavy..."_

"_I don't care! I need to protect him!" _Her eyes widen as a black glow starts radiating from her. "_I love him!"_

"No! Don't Kurosaki-san!" Kisuke manages to gasp before a white flash of reiatsu appears in front of him. "_Oh... I see."_

Soi Fon feels a hand wrap around her wrist and squeeze harshly. Looking to her right she sees Ichigo in a solid black cloak with wild long dark hair, her eyes now a deep blue. "What the hell?"

"Tch... only fools talk of loyalty when the battles are over." She suddenly wrenches Soi Fon's wrist so she hits the ground. "Where were you when we were _One_? When we... " Tensa's voice exhales a long sigh. "…fought that sad person?"

"Enough, it is clear Kurosaki has her powers back and it was Urahara Kisuke's responsibility." Yamamoto lifts his blade up toward Ichigo's throat. "Kurosaki Ichigo, you must die."

"Hahaha!" Her hair suddenly washes white, one eye turning brilliant gold. Tugging a hand at her cloak the hood drops away as she continues to chuckle. "You are mistaken. We are Tensa Zangetsu." Flinging the cloak to the ground Ichigo's body appears under it, her long orange hair splaying over the dirt.

"Ichigo-san!" Urahara's small form dashes to her side. "Hold onto me."

"We don't need your reiatsu, Chibi-tan." Tensa lifts a hand out, and just behind her Kisuke's cane re-materializes. "We are here now because she has chosen."

"Thank you..." Kisuke's body shift back into his adult form, his hands instantly picking her up and his cane shifts into shikai. "What did she choose?"

"I see." Yamamoto releases the flames of his blade causing the captains to take a step back. "You have returned the reiatsu that awakened you."

"No... We were hesitant to take this form out of the desire to protect her. We have _always_ been with her." Tensa slowly shakes her head as the area around the training area turns dark. "However, her heart longs for this man, and we are sick of her losing things. _We_ are not going to have it."

"Punishment must be dealt. One dies."

"Then be satisfied." Isshin appears with another body in his arms. "Masaki's daughter died when Tensa burst out from her weakened body." Turning on his heel he walks toward the stairs with his daughters lifeless body in his arms.

"You spoke of shinigami being more than power!" Tensa growls raising her reiatsu. "Her blood is on your hands! We are not going to have it!"

"Thank you Tensa..." Ichigo lifts her head up in Kisuke's arms stretching out her hand she spreads her fingers out. "I decided to be shinigami so let's move on right?"

"Very well." Tensa's appearance changes back to a black blade wedging deep into the ground in front of Ichigo.

"Whew... she can be intense." Ichigo says picking up the blade by the handle. "You... can put me down now Kisuke."

"I don't want to." he mumbles turning his head away feigning hurt feelings. "I let you run off too much."

"Oh really?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo, You have three days." Yamamoto turns on his heel walking toward the opening gate. "If you do not report to the spirit academy I will come back and take your life myself."

"Wha-" A warm hand wraps over her mouth.

"I will personally make sure she arrives on time." Kisuke pipes up giving her a wink. "Have a good day Captain-Commander."

Soon as they vanish and the gate closes Ichigo bites his hand. "What did you do?" Struggling in his arms she drops to the ground landing on her feet. "I have to leave now!"

"No, in three days." He replies picking her up and dashing up the stairs. "You are mine until then."

Her eyes grow wide in shock at his behaviour. Then she feels him suddenly set her gently on a step in front of him. "W-What is it now?"

"I just treated you badly... I apologize." He bows his head terribly embarrassed.

"It was cliché right?" Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Ichigo pulls him close. "I secretly enjoyed it." She slides her lips over his lightly, and when he responds by suddenly wrapping his arms around her waist Ichigo sinks against his chest. "_This is it... "_ Her feet leave the ground as he carries her up the stairs to the shoten. "_This is me being happy._

_

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Hey all! Hope you like it and look forward to a very spicy next chapter =) hugs an kisses to my lovely readers! And now an special note from Kisuke...

**_Kisuke; "Please review! Fuzzi-san has promised to upload the next chapter by Saturday if she is showered with praise... Please review! I am left here... in a delicate moment!"_**

**_Fuzzi; "Urahara..."_**

**_Kisuke; "Ichigo is so Hyuuu~! Showers praise on you! Praise! Prai-"_**

**_Fuzzi; "You just want the porn. Pervert!"_**


	10. Mistakes were made

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

_**Hush, Hush**_

"_**...the sting of remorse, and despair of pardon; as a foretaste of what awaits him beyond the grave. But it was the constant shadow of my presence!—the closest propinquity of the man whom he had most vilely wronged!" ~ Hawthorne **_

_Chapter10; "Mistakes were made."_

Reaching the top of the stairs Kisuke gently sets Ichigo down on the smooth hardwood floor. His eyes move to the door and the tall dark figure holding onto Ichigo's human body. "Isshin-san..."

"Ichigo, would you go on ahead?" Isshin says ignoring Kisuke's apologetic gaze. "Karin and Yuzu should hear what you've decided."

"Yeah... dad." She moves to the door suddenly dreading what must be done. "Kisuke..."

"Yes?" he replies in a calm voice, his eyes shaded under his hat. This is it. This is where she finally blames him and walks out of his life. _"I've truly taken everything from you now."_

"I have to go now." Tilting her head toward him, she manages a small smile. "But I'll be back in a little while."

"I see..." he gasps curling his fingers tighter around the cane in his hand. _"Of course... I'm a fool to think you would abandon me. You are my Ichigo after all." _Clearing his throat he gives her a small nod. "I will be here."

Soon as Ichigo vanishes out the door Isshin turns his back on Urahara. The blood begins to drip making round spots on the floor. "You will listen."

"Yes." Urahara replies pulling off his hat and setting it on the short table next to him.

"You won't be normal. Even as a child raising her wasn't normal. The first years of her life she cried over everything. Ichigo, was born crying and stayed crying. Hehe, I told Masaki that this baby's tears could water a house plant. Want to know what Masaki said?"

"Yes."

"Ichigo's heart is special... that we would would need to fill her heart with more love than most, and we did. Of course that was until her mother passed away. Then I would pray for the tears to flow so I could be the one to comfort her.." Swallowing a knot in his throat he glances over his shoulder at the man who one his daughter's heart. "When I said it will be difficult I wasn't teasing her. I was warning you. It will be difficult for you. "

"I understand, Isshin-san."

"She who protects one thing..." Looking down at her body he can't help but remember his wife nestled in this lovely woman's face. "The heart." Straightening his back he turns toward the door.

"Please allow me to protect Ichigo-san's heart." Kisuke says dropping on his knees and bowing his head to the floor. "Please give your approval, Isshin-san."

"You don't need it." He says opening the front door and stepping through it. "But you are the kind of man to do things the right way. So I give you my blessing."

"Thank you, Isshin-san."

"I'll push her your way after dinner." Turning his head to Kisuke one more time Isshin smiles. "Good-bye, Kisuke."

"Good-bye... Isshin-san." Urahara waits until Isshin leaves before rising to his feet. He can only look to the future now. Turning around he walks through the quiet hallways. With Tessai and the children already gone he knows what he wants to do, but he said he wouldn't assume anything with Ichigo. Tugging off his black haori he hangs it on a hook near his door to slide open his closet. Lifting his hand away he turns around and shuts his eyes. "Ichigo..." he sighs a nice long exhale with her name on his lips.

"_She said she loves me." _It's a simple freedom. Kisuke can say her name now and he can hold her, love her, touch her skin, feel the warmth of her lips. "It's time..." Turning back toward the closet he pulls out a large chest and dashes off to take a shower.

~/~

At seven thirty Ichigo finds herself being shoved out her front door and told to go. "What the hell is that about?" she grumbles sliding open the door to the shoten and finding it strangely dark and quiet. "And what the hell is going on here?" Never once has this place been dark or quiet. That scruffy faced blond is always fluttering about with some ulterior motive. Narrowing her eyes in the dark she sees a faint light coming from the mat covering the steps to the underground training room. "Kisuke?"

Lifting the floor covering away she jumps down passing the steps altogether. Touching down in the dusty ground she finds a small table with a white yukata neatly folded on it. Ichigo runs a hand over the pure white material surprised at the softness. The fabric is plain, but for the delicate embroidery of silver butterflies near the collar on the right side. "Well... Ichigo, you know what he wants."

A thin line of white candles weave a wavy line toward the outcropping of rocks where the hot springs are located just beyond. Ichigo can see a faint blue glow in the distance. She undresses quickly placing her clothes on the table and sliding into the soft white garment. With her hands shaking the belt is knotted and she presses her feet into a white pair of slippers.

Walking toward the dim blue light the sound of water and the faint humming echo in the vast space. Pausing she listens for a moment her smile growing wider as she listens to Kisuke mumble about the water temperature. _"What are you up too?" _Peeking around the corner she sees him rising from the water completely naked.

Instantly she feels heat rising up her cheeks and her mouth going dry at the sight Kisuke's naked body gives. Skin, pale and perfect glistens with tiny droplets of water over the tight contours of his back. From the wide shoulders, to proportionally muscled arms and down his spine where only upper the upper half to his bottom appears above the water surface, her eyes travel. "Wow... nice ass." she gasps instantly clamping her hand over her mouth. _"Don't hear me! Don't hear me!"_ Ichigo presses her back to the rock-face and cringes. Hearing water swishing the temptation is there... to look again. Ohh he is so very attractive. Damn gorgeous actually. Is all that really hiding under olive colored clothing? Maybe it's a trick of light? It can't hurt to check and see, right? Turning back toward the water, she peeks a large brown eye just far enough around the corner to gaze at him again only to find the man has turned around. His pale blonde hair sticking to his face, dripping water down Kisuke's neck, shining clear beads run down a toned hairless broad chest, to the firm flat stomach and... She gasps again, takeing in the sight of his manhood for the first time. Swallowing a tight lump in her throat Ichigo refuses to move her eyes off the decent sized cock. _"How much bigger will that get when he is hard?"_ Her eyes grow wide at the mental image of what that might be.

Again she presses her back to wall, her face now darker crimson, her teeth biting at her lower lip. He is sexy, he is very, very... The moisture gathering between her legs makes her stomach turn over.

Clutching the fabric of her yukata tightly around her chest she starts to realize what the candles and the dim lighting mean. _"Have we reached the sex phase already? We barely made out. Isn't it normal to make out and touch stuff before moving onto the other thing?" _She could runaway, and Kisuke is so polite he wouldn't say anything. But... _"I'm the one being a pervert this time."_ All those shoujo mangas never mention the innocent virgins peeking on their boyfriends.

Swishing through the water Kisuke can barely contain his smile. He is fully aware Ichigo is on the other side of the jagged wall of rock, and that she is peeking at him. It's so hard not to sneak up on her and tease her, but then she might freak out and punch him in the face. Ichigo's punch unlike most other people who have hit him in the past hurts... bad. Before he decides what to do she clears her throat stepping out from behind her hiding spot. "Good evening, Ichigo." Kisuke says with his back to her. He grabs the dark blue yukata laying out on a blanket and slips it on knowing her eyes are on him.

"You always know when I'm around." she answers, trying not to bring her nervous feelings into the conversation. Seeing him here near the water, in the dim light with his pale skin exposed is a revelation. Ichigo feels like touching him. That loving this man who loves her enough to stand there without expecting anything from her is right. It's what needs to come next. "It's been quite a day, Kisuke." Ichigo says, leaning up on her toes to kiss his cheek.

"Yes, it has." he answers, letting his eyes slip shut to enjoy her simple kiss. Soon as her lips leave and she starts to step away his hand grabs hers. "May I kiss you again?" Opening his eyes, they slant to his left to watch her reaction. When she nods her head in response he presses her hand to his chest. His head tilts towards hers about to kiss her lips when he remembers the surprise he has for her. "Pink, blue, or white?"

"Pardon?" she blinks in shock as he steps away. No kiss? Wait... she wants the kissing.

"What is your favorite color?" Kisuke opens a large trunk and begins digging through it.

"Ocean blue." she says instantly turning her gaze to the pool of blue water on her right.

"That was a fast answer." he replies standing up and presenting her with a ordinary looking wooden box. "Why ocean blue?"

"The purest blue I have ever seen." she mutters saying something embarrassing. "It's your eye color, Kisuke."

"Ho~? I'm so thrilled." Setting the box in her hand he smiles at her surprised expression. "Now think of that color and open the box."

"Alright, but in exchange... you don't ask to kiss me anymore." Ichigo gives him a determined look placing her hand on the lid on the plain square lid. "If you want to kiss me just do it." Waiting for him to nod yes, she gazes up in his eyes before opening the present. _"Can't he tell? He is the only gift I need."_

"_I... want to kiss her now."_

Lifting the lid a strong gust of wind blows at her hair making her drop the box in shock. "Kis-" The snapping of his fingers makes the wind grow quiet and small blue lights begin to appear all around her. Suddenly tiny glowing butterflies begin to flutter, their wings glowing bright blue. Within moments the entire underground training room is bathed in a subtle blue light.

"Do you like it?" he asks staring at the way the light shines off the water to illuminate her face. "You look beautiful."

"This is incredible." Ichigo lifts up a hand to touch one floating past her. "Can I touch them?" she asks pulling her hand back.

"Of course." Kisuke says softly, coming up behind her and pointing her index finger up. "They are a breed of hell butterfly I created to guide people through the dangai precipse world."

"Why don't they use them instead of the pink and black ones?" Ichigo watches as a butterfly floats over to her finger landing weightlessly on the tip. "These are so pretty."

"Their beauty attracted spirits, so they would always die. I had to make them darker to blend in more with the gray walls. It's the same butterfly... " he whispers leaning his head near her ear. "only a different color for you."

"_He is romantic." _Fighting the blush creeping up her cheeks she turns around to look up at him. "I'm sorry for not saying it sooner... but I love you." She isn't the romantic type but she wants to kiss him, to make him understand her feelings. Taking a step toward him Ichigo presses her hands to the material of his blue yukata sliding her palms up his chest. She kisses him softly, shyly at first until his hands come to rest around her waist supporting her, encouraging her to keep kissing him. Leaning against him, her lips part, her arms looping around Kisuke's neck to rest on his shoulders. It's good like this, despite being new and wrestling with some major inner turmoil, Kisuke calms her with a single reassuring warm hand on her back.

The kiss is brief but warm enough to make him tug her back to his chest. "Oh, I don't have to ask anymore." His mouth gently nudges at her lips. Her scent fills his nose with sweet flowers, and his palms slide up her back to the collar of her robe. _"Just one more kiss." _he tells himself, opening his mouth wider, just a bit more pressure on her lips. Then she sighs under her breath, the excitement grows inside him. _"Just a little further." _The fingers curling at the nape of her neck dip just below the white fabric grazing her skin. Soft smooth skin beckons him to kiss.

Her eyes pop open when his lips leave her mouth only glide over her neck. She can feel her collar tugged back and suddenly his hot breath on the freshly expose skin. "Oh!" she quietly gasps, at his touch. All over her body she grows warm and unsettled, like she needs to do something... anything to keep feeling this way. So she keeps touching his hair, stroking his back, and letting him lavish her with kisses around her neckline.

His mouth begins to travel lower, his fingers lifting back the yukata to reveal more of her skin, but as his hand reaches up to cup her breast through the soft silk material he senses her stiffen. "I'm sorry." he instantly releases her and takes a step back. His whole body lurches on the inside at his mistake.

"What? W-Why?" Ichigo is confused watching Kisuke motion her over to a blanket he set out. He stopped? _"Why is he sorry? Sorry he kissed me? It's not working for him? I'm not romantic... I don't attract him."_

"I have a late night snack for you." he says reaching out to touch her shoulder then pulling his hand back. "It's just some fruit sliced up."

"_He drew back? I've done something wrong." _Ichigo sits down on the blanket with her legs under her taking in his change in demeanor. The hand fan comes out and he is telling her about the butterflies again. She doesn't care about the butterflies right now. This is bad. What happened to the kissing? She wants the kissing part back. A plate of fruit is set in front of her and before he can move back she leans over and shuts her eyes. _"Kiss me damn it. Kiss me." _But he starts talking again and she vacantly stares at the slices of melon.

Urahara turns away from her to watch the hell butterflies. What he didn't tell her was the hell butterflies he created all die after you touch them. It was a simple design flaw that he corrected, but the breed flying around the vast underground training room also have that flaw. He couldn't bring himself to change them. Part of him admired how fragile they are. However it was a mistake and the next batch of butterfly were designed to be tougher.

Mistakes were made... that is what you say when people die and you don't really know what happened. Just something went wrong and now you are the guy people are looking to for answers. _"But when mistakes are made with Ichigo... I must make sure she doesn't get hurt." _She stiffened... of course she would. Ichigo is pure, in heart, in soul. _"She doesn't trust me." _That feels painful to him, not that he can blame her. Kisuke has managed to take her life one than once. _"Too many mistakes for it to be easy between us."_

"_Please allow me to protect Ichigo-san's heart." _

He meant that, and he will protect her. Even if it's from himself. Laying down on the blanket he turns on his side. Then feels her curl up next to him lightly touching his hair.

"Whatever it is... I'm here, alright?" Ichigo starts to pull away only to feel her hand grabbed by his and pulled back to his hair.

"_No... she trusts me. It's myself I don't trust." _Clamping his eyes shut he continues to feel her fingers slipping through his hair until his eyes grow heavy. _"Mistakes were made..."_

The next morning he wakes finding her gone and a note that she will be spending time with her family. He doesn't mind it, he expected it. She is leaving so much behind. He decides while working on his latest invention that he should work out his fears before he touches Ichigo again. That way their love life will start out strong and he can give her the love she needs.

However to his surprise she appears in his doorway just as he turns the lamp off in his room. Opening his mouth to ask if something is wrong but sees her pulling off her coat revealing a modest set of blue pin-striped pajamas.

"You don't have to tell me what the problem is." Ichigo folds her arms in front of her chest defiantly. "But you are wrong if you think I'm giving you space." He blinks for a moment then watches her walk over to his futon and crawl inside. "Are you getting in?"

"Yes." he says walking over to the bed and pulling off his hat. "Is there room in there for me?"

"I'm giving you just_ enough _space." she grumbles turning on her side and scooting over.

"Thank you." How like her... she just pushes through anything in her way. Physical, emotional... she forces herself to adapt to it all. Pulling back the blanket he can't help to smile at the slender shape tucked inside. No sooner has he climbed inside does she roll over towards him on her side and prop her head on her hand. "Cute paja-" Her hand clamps over his mouth.

"I know they are hiddeious! They are my dad's." she practically growls out the words. "Dad did the laundry. Why today of all days since he NEVER helps... I don't know. Everything I own is now a sweet pink color! It's pink Kisuke! Do I look like a pink type of girl?"

He shakes his head no, her hand still firmly in place. _"If I say yes... I might __**never**__ get to touch her breasts."_

"I only have three sets of pajamas. I normally just wear a shirt! Do you know what goat-face said to me?"

Again... he shakes his head no... yes her hand is still firmly in place. _"Why did I say I wouldn't make love to her?I'm stupid! Stupid Kisuke!"_

"Then just wear a shirt to sleep in. I'm sure my new son-in-law won't mind." she says mocking her dad's voice perfectly and following with a thumbs-up. "Can you believe that?"

He starts to shake his head when she suddenly rises from the bed tossing the cover back and pulling down the pajama bottoms.

"Does this really look like something you want your new girlfriend to sleep in?"

No words... he has no words. Clamping his own hand over his mouth he wills his head to agree with her. That's what you do with women... agree. But she is wearing a long mens sleeping shirt that is down to her mid-thigh and it's totally frumpy and totally the sexiest he has ever seen her look. Clearing his throat he starts to ask if she wants to wear something from the shoten. However, before the words come out she whirls around and opens his closet. Yes... he is staring at her legs. Has he mentioned her legs? She has the greatest legs a woman can have. Long... toned, tan. He sniffs and touches his nose. Then the shirt floats down to the floor. "I'll be right back!" Kisuke says darting out the door and slamming it behind him. "I'm in trouble. I think she is trying to seduce me."

"Ya got a girlfriend, Urahara-san? Well alright!" Renji smiles wide stepping out of the shadows. "Who is she?"

"A-Abarai-san, what brings you here?" Kisuke tries to steer Renji toward the main room only to hear him chuckle.

"Why don't you want her to seduce you?" Oh he is enjoying this. Who would have thought Urahara Kisuke was a prude? Nobody that is who.

"It's... complicated. What brings you here?" Kisuke repeats moving back to the bedroom door. And putting his arm across the path.

"This." he says lifting a scroll from his robe. Renji smiles hearing a faint female voice from beyond the door.

"Thank-"

"Kisuke, do you have any socks?" Ichigo opens the door to find one tall red head looking at her with a stunned expression on his face. "Renji!"

"Ichigo?" He stares and stares and stares some more... "Where did she get all the girl parts at?"

"ASSHO-" Ichigo is cut off my the top of Urahara's robe dropping over her face. She barely feels him nudge her back inside the room and the door shut.

"Your seductress is Ichigo?" Renji exclaims before falling on the floor and laughing. "You are kidding me! HAHAHA!"

"Renji...san, I would appreciate discretion with this informat-"

"You are so screwed!" He can stop snickering. "Literally!"

"W-Why do you say that? I'm quite determined! I woke up this morning and decided to do things properly with Ichigo-san. That I would-"

"Do you _know_ happens when Ichigo Kurosaki puts her mind to anything?"

Sucking in a deep breath Urahara understands Abarai's meaning. "I'm..."

"Screwed." Renji points a finger to Urahara's bare chest then frowns. "Lucky bastard." Turning around he heads back downstairs to the senkaimon. _"Urahara-san and Ichigo... Rukia is gonna love this."_

* * *

_**After much debate I decided that yes, this relationship is new, but it's not likely that they would jump each other at the first sign of love. I wanted to stick with the themes in this fic' Innocence, trust, forgiveness, change, and desire. I'm sorry for switching my plan on you and that this is so very very late . I was so undecided, and I wanted to deal Kisuke's character a bit more. Have no fear! They will DO IT soon! Most likely the next chapter, but think of the romance^^. HUGS YOU ALL! Fuzzi**_


	11. String of Fate

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**dedicated to my friends and those who sent me well wishes while I was sick. Thank you~**

**RamecupMiso for the amazing support**

**Shadowgouf for reading it over and begin an addict LOL!**

**And Ilovekuramatoomuch from helping with my writer's block ;D**

_**Hush, Hush**_

_**But on one side of the portal, and rooted almost at the threshold, was a wild rosebush, covered, in this month of June, with its delicate gems, which might be imagined to offer their fragrance and fragile beauty to the prisoner as he went in, and to the condemned criminal as he came forth to his doom, in token that the deep heart of Nature could pity and be kind to him. ~ Hawthorne**_

_Chapter 12; A sudden rush to the head_

"Kisuke..." Ichigo pops her head through the laboratory door to see Urahara Kisuke busy at work on some weird balloon. Lifting a brow she scowls at the way he has ignored her since last night. Since he didn't even return to bed she woke this morning with a plan to take matters until her own hands. To be fair she waited all day before coming up with this plan. No more waiting... she needs to do this before leaving him. She isn't even sure when she will be able to come back. "Kisuke?" What the hell is going on with him? "I'm leaving so... bring your ass over here and kiss me goodbye!"

"What!" Kisuke's head pops up and and he crashes backwards in his chair. "I-I thought you had another day? Don't tell me I have been in this room for twenty four hours?" Scrambling to his feet he looks around for her shape in the door only to see a thread tied to the door handle. "Ichigo?" he says glancing down the hallway as the red colored line leads him into the next room. Pushing open the sliding door with his foot he doesn't find her instead the string continues to another room. His lips form a smile as the path she has laid out leads him darting from room to room. "Where are you?" he says becoming anxious to she her bold orange hair, to touch her soft pink lips. Finally he reaches the stairs leading to the underground. Lifting away the mat he jumps feet first into the vast expanse on the shoten landing on two solid feet with a clatter. "Yohoo~! Kisuke-chan is here~!" he says with a hand near his mouth.

"No cheating!" Comes her voice, and his head turns just in time to see the ends of her vibrant locks vanish in the distance behind the rocks leading to the hot spring.

"I wouldn't cheat..." Looking around he sees the web work of crimson she has laid out in complicated patterns of vectors in every direction. His eyes instantly work out the solution. "well... much." Kisuke touches the string with two fingertips and like a sudden rush to his head he can see the one single path that leads to her. Glowing with blue the red string slips between his fingers as he trances it's origin. Once again he is aching to see her, to just look at her face. Moving faster he pops his head around the corner of the outcropping of rocks expecting to find her. "Awe... where are you?" he says in a disappointed pout glancing around the bathing area. Flicking his eyes around he notices the lack of her reiatsu and frowns deeper. "_You_ are cheating..." If she is going to cheat by hiding her reiatsu then he will just have to cheat too. Preparing to jump up in the air he drops his black haori to the ground and bends his knees when a hand on his shoulder makes him whirl around.

"Would you like a nice shiny red apple?"

"Pardon?" he mutters in total shock at the shape in his black cloak extending a large red apple in his direction. "Ho~?" Unable to keep from smiling, his lips part as his head nods. Taking the apple from the tan hand he takes a bite enjoying it's juicy sweetness.

"Delicious." Hearing her giggle he drops the apple and grabs her, tugging her close to his chest. Tugging back the hood of her cape Kisuke finally sees her amber eyes and pink lips. "So cute..." he whispers under his breath intending to kiss her when she blushes tilting her head at him.

"I have another gift for you." Lifting her hand Ichigo shows him the end of the red string tied around her pinky finger.

Kisuke lifts his own finger with the end of the string fatefully curled around his own finger to show her. "Ichigo... how cliché."

"But you like it." she whispers taking a step toward him. The cape parts showing her naked underneath, and she smiles as Kisuke's eyes change from amusement to desire. "I'm scared."

"I am not pushing you for more than you are ready to experience." he says lifting a hand up to pull her cloak shut.

"No. That's not it. I'm leaving in the morning." Grabbing his hand she places it on her left breast. "I'm scared of leaving and not having you." Ichigo shakes her head finally expressing what was in her mind all day. "Even if it's just once... I can bear the distance a little easier."

Suddenly the world seems so small. The minute you think you are going to lose something. That something becomes to most important thing in your life. Does that make him Ichigo's most important thing? Kisuke can almost taste the urgency of her words on his tongue. "Ichigo..."

"Why don't you want me? Am I not tempting?"

"Ohhh, you are very, very..." Sliding his hand over her breast his thoughts stop. When his thumb moves over her nipple and it hardens instantly Kisuke can't possibly turn her away. "I had this plan... but somehow I don't think it matters anymore."

"No, we are going with my plan this time." she whispers before claiming his lips in a soft kiss. Winding her fingers into his hair she yanks him toward her falling toward the ground. However before her back hits the dirty floor Ichigo is lifted into Kisuke's arms, cradled against his hard body, while the handsome blonde flash steps through the underground back into the shoten and comes to a stop as they reach his bedroom. "But... my plan?"

"Oh.. it's still your plan." he adds pushing open the door with his shoe and stepping inside. Getting an eyeful of her breasts peeking through his cape his pulse begins to hum. "A very good plan." Slipping out of his shoes, he pulls off her slippers and drops them next to his.

"Well... even_ I _have my moments." Ichigo smirks up at Kisuke wrapping a hand around the fold of his green uniform and with a tug his head dips close to hers. "Kiss me until I have to leave?"

"Hai..." he whispers pressing his lips to hers. Carrying her over to his futon his mouth suckles gently on her lower lip. His legs buckle and he drops to his knees laying her down on the unmade bed. Reluctantly breaking the kiss he moves a hand down her curvy body, his fingertips lightly brushing her the warm skin of her stomach. "You're beautiful. Do you know that? Have I told you?"

"Kisuke... help me with your clothes?" Tugging that his green top, her fingers find the small string keeping his top together. The red string still connected to Ichigo's hand draws her eye. "Oh... I guess I should take this off."

"Please don't." he says leaning up on his knees to unlace his top, leaving it gaping open. Next he pulls off his pants and deposits them on the floor behind him. "Leave the string alone, Ichigo." Kisuke whispers returning to hover above her. He doesn't believe in fate. But looking down at her face... he believes even if it's just a little... that loving her is an act of defying that fate. Settling between her legs, his skin touches hers for the first time, his groin resting on top of her is all it takes to make him intense with desire. Ichigo's brown eyes are wide looking up into his face with longing and something more, that causes goosebumps rise on his skin. She is here, with him, right now, open to anything he might do,with her orange locks laying on the black cape barely clinging to her tan shoulders. His heart beats so fast and his lips feel like pulled down toward her slightly open, inviting mouth.

Reaching up, Ichigo tangles her fingers in his hair, pulling him down to presses against more of her skin connecting their bodies together. Once she feels Kisuke's lips settle over her own, she presses into the kiss tasting him like a soft promise of more kisses to follow. The pads of her fingers gingerly move across the expanse of his chest, each crevice of his toned body a new and incredible place to touch and learn.

He pauses for a moment marveling at the the softness of her caress. This is what he has wanted for such a long time, so when her palms slide down his sides, his breath catches in his throat. Grasping Ichigo's hand in his own the tiny threads around their fingers touch. "This is a good thing. It's a good between us, Ichigo" he whispers before kissing a path down her chin to her neck. He takes his time lavishing her breasts with kisses, the warmth between them spreading into a sultry heat.

Her hands travel and explore his body gaining confidence with every passing minute. The momentum builds as they come together in the dimly lit space of his bedroom, breaths meld, and kisses linger longer and longer. With nothing between them but skin Kisuke's lips begins to travel down her neck.

Ichigo's mouth opens in a silent breath from his hair softly moving over her right nipple. Instantly tightening from the newness of his touch she arches up and finally gasps when his mouth sucks the stiff bud inside. Instinctively her lower back lifts from the futon her torso bumping into his thick length.

His lips feast on the lower curve of her breasts, sucking and nipping at the round globes. Fingers press at his shoulders encouraging him to drop lower. Reaching her belly button his lips part and his tongue slips out. On her right hip, just a peck. On her left thigh a nibble, and finally as his right hand nudges at her left thigh Kisuke presses a gentle kiss to a small freckle near the tiny patch of curls of her pussy.

"Oh... um..." she gulps nervously as he guides her body to open and his chin scratches at her inner thigh. "Kis... oh you are." Ichigo mutters, her head tilting back when the strange wetness of his tongue slides over her sensitive folds.

Savoring the first taste of her. Kisuke's hands move soothingly down her trembling body only to come rest on her curved hips. While his tongue slides lower to swirl at the sensitive flesh there. He is almost painfully hard by now, his engorged cock bumping against her leg. Once again he licks a path upwards, his lips closing over her clit again gently sucking. The moment he senses Ichigo's thighs relax, his finger starts teasing at her dripping entrance, tenderly probing and stroking the sensitive circle.

"Oh..." she moans biting at her lip. "It feels so good." Ichigo's hands grab at his hair, her fingers winding at the blonde locks. The pleasure builds fast, heat rising in her chest as her body rises toward release.

His finger works in her, the pressure on her clit increasing the throbbing bliss until she can't hold back the gasping climax. "Oh my ah!" Trembling with her first orgasm her hips lift.

With her intoxicating taste still fresh on his tongue he moves up her body, kissing his way over her hips and between her lifting breasts, until her lips open for him. He claims them hungrily, lightly biting on the tender flesh, coaxing her to respond in similar manner. His body supported above her with strong arms, he adjusts his hips so the head of his cock nudges at Ichigo's entrance.

The feeling is warm and so intense they both freeze for a second before Kisuke brushes the tip over her opening, sliding through Ichigo's slick juices and biting on his lips from how good it feels.

He holds Ichigo's gaze sliding a few inches inside her tight, hot passage and then suddenly stops. "I can stop anytime. You just say the word." Pausing there flush against her, ready to ease inside her, Kisuke leans down on his forearms.

Giving him a nod Ichigo feels the solid pressure of his cock ease inside her. "It's fine." she says in a whisper, more nervous than scared at the new experience.

Her inner walls are smooth and moist as he starts to move deeper into her, clinging to the sensitive skin on the head of his cock and creating delicious friction. He goes in slowly, the tightening increases around him and his next nudge makes her eyes widen and he feels her fingers dig suddenly into his hips. "I'm hurting you."

A gasp escapes her lips and he can feel her move against him. "I ... I want to do this with you."

Pressing kisses to her face and neck he rocks his hips against her in slow deliberate strokes. Her face is strained, her teeth biting at her lips reminding him to take it easy. "I love you." he tells her, and feels her fingernails loosen. "I love you so much." Kisuke begins to move against her, a groan escaping his throat each time his cock bumps into the back of her narrow passage.

"I-I love you too." she manages to say trying to put him at ease, the burning sensation lessening with each confession. Ichigo kisses him back, forcing her body to relax and her mind to focus on Kisuke. She begins to touch him again, running her fingertips over the skin of his back and up his sides. His kisses intensify and she reacts to them equally leaving behind the pain and embracing the heat building in her belly.

She is opened up to him now, her eyes heavy with affection, the smile returning to her lips. "You are beautiful, Ichigo." Kisuke says observing the changes on her face from pain to surprise, then to something lovely. The passion inside him uncoils meeting her body with his own. Things born between them now begin to pulsate, his hips cradled in hers, her long legs curling around him.

They are single, they are one in a small room behind a wall of candy coated chocolates. Like an arrow frozen in time binding them to one another, the strings on their pinky fingers remain tight. The long crimson string in a pile next to the white sheets of his futon is the only witness.

Ichigo's cheeks puff, repelling the energy of lust as she cries out for him. An irretrievable heat linking her body to his, making language unnecessary as she rises to meet his thrusts. Her hands cling to shoulders. She doesn't care to be too proud, the shyness has vanished and need is driving her towards Kisuke. Indeed she chooses her own path, her own direction to connect to Kisuke and accept where he is taking them with abandon. "Kisuke!"

And he is with her, breaking down the physical wall between them in search of a new equilibrium. The sweat sliding down his back gives him a chill while his cock plunges into her sultry depths. With his mouth covering hers he comes, the tight heat locking them into the same time and place. Shaking for air he swallows back her moan, his seed still spilling inside deep inside her. The tears slipping down her cheeks making his eyes widen in surprise.

He waits, understanding that it would only make her angry if he would point out those tears. Instead he presses another kiss to her lips and just stares at her. Watching her chest heave up and down and her brilliant amber eyes stare right back at him. Change... yes sleeping with her is the only change he needed. He can now measure his value by how well he loves her. After all, being with her is the one thing that keeps out the entropy from his soul.

* * *

This is very very late and I'm so sorry o/o I had a bad flu that really put me down. I'm sorry~! Ok I hope you liked the chapter^^ HUGS YOU ALL Fuzzi


	12. Run

**I DON'T OWN BLEACH**

**Special Note; Review replies are broken! If you have PM's turned off i will not be able to thank you properly! So i will say it now THANK YOU!**

**Dedicated to my friends who give me strength to keep moving forward even when I make mistakes. I love you... Tom, Dion, Helena, Katherine, and Amy.**

_**Hush, Hush**_

"_**The letter was the symbol of her calling. Such helpfulness was found in her, —so much power to do, and power to sympathize, —that many people refused to interpret the scarlet A by its original signification." ~ Hawthrone, The Scarlet Letter**_

_**Chapter 12; Run**_

The morning greets Ichigo with a smile and a gentle kiss from Kisuke. His hands gently circle her waist bringing her body close to his chest. "Good morning."

Curling her arm behind her she slides a hand into his hair tugging his head closer. "Morning."

"With you here," he whispers in her ear then nuzzles at her neck. "it's a very... good morning." Allowing his hands to travel freely over her body, he cups her breasts gently squeezing the warm firm flesh to hear her moan. "The perfect size."

"Better be." Ichigo exhales another quiet sigh from the fingers circling her nipples before they give the a tug. "Kisuke..."

"Think it's alright to perv and pounce on you yet?" His fingers tickle a path down her stomach. "What do you say?"

"Ha...ha.. Kisuke!" Her eyes grow wide feeling his hand grabbing at her ass and pushing her against his erection. "W-Well..." She doesn't want to say no. He might think she didn't enjoy last night. She did... it's just... "Well um..."

Sensing her reluctance he lets her go. "Hmm, we are pressed for time."

"Oh, thank god!" she gasps yanking the cover over her face. "I'll make it up to you tonight."

"Oooooh, I like the sound of that." Pressing a kiss to her forehead and the sheet he gives her a worried expression he knows she can't see. "Are you tender?"

"It's like a carpet burn in the worst place ever." Ichigo gasps in misery.

"Oh? Should I check you over?" He yanks away the sheet and grabs her leg.

"No!" Swatting away his hands she rises from the bed and vanishes into the bathroom for a shower. After she reemerges and wonders into the kitchen where a large breakfast is covering every inch of Kisuke's table. "Feeding an army or just Renji?"

"I over did it. " he smiles awkwardly, "but that just makes me more irresistible., right?"

"Yeah, that works for me." Ichigo grabs a piece of toast and steals a glance at him as he finishes cooking at the stove. It's like they are a real couple you see on television. But, the man in her kitchen has no shirt on and his baggy pajamas are barely hanging on his narrow hips. "It really... works for me." she says absentmindedly, her thoughts already on leaving. Goodbyes suck enough, but a goodbye the morning after loosing your virginity to the half-naked man whistling and burning eggs seems pretty unreasonable. It doesn't feel long enough. Like she had only just started loving him and now it's going to be over.

"Please do not make that face." Kisuke's voice comes out low and almost at a whisper.

"I-I don't think I can say-" Clamping a hand over her mouth she darts from the table only to feel a hand on her wrist. "I-I gotta leave... like right now!"

"Then we don't say _that_ word." he says walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "We don't _need_ to say anything." Kisuke catches her as her knees buckle, and for the remainder of the time she has left, he holds her in his lap on the floor on the shoten. Neither say a word, just keeping their hands threaded together in silence until Renji walks into the kitchen.

Taking one look at them he nods and turns around. " You are going in through the Sixth Division gate. I'll be out front." He walks back outside to listen to the birds chirping. _"They had so much food!"_

Rising to her feet she grabs her zanpaktou and heads for the door. When he starts to follow her she stops and turns hers head slightly to glance behind her. With a wave an a smile she walks out the door leaving him behind in the one place she knows he will be when she returns.

"_I love you, Ichigo." _Taking a moment to glance around he exhales a sigh then walks into his lab where the scroll Renji delivered sits. "Now... back to work."

_**Soul Society's Spirit Academy;**_

Plopping down on a bench after a long day of exercise a lectures she is filled with a new purpose. However, despite the return of her powers and now being a shinigami she can't help but think about the blonde wondering around the shoten in Karakura Town. _"You feel so far away... Kisuke."_

"So how is your first day?" Rukia says appearing around a row of lockers in the shower room. "Break anything yet?"

"Nah, but I pissed off Toshiro." Ichigo says, wrapping a towel around her body. "I kinda... called him Toshiro during class and I could literally see the light fixtures turn to ice."

"Haha!" With a chuckle she sits next to Ichigo and manages to resist pushing her to the ground and beating her senseless for not spilling her secrets with her. "So... anything happen while you were powerless then past few years? Anything... important?"

"Not really."

"You lying bitch!" Rukia bellows holding a fist in the air. "I want details about you and Urahara! Confess your sins to your best friend and you feel better!"

"I'm gonna kick Renji's ass into the dirt..." Ichigo grabs her clothes and starts to dress cursing under her breath all the things she wants to do to him. Painful things. "You already know so what is to tell."

"So it's true?" Her eyes grow large as shimmering saucers. "Shit I owe Yoruichi-san a pedicure."

"You made a bet if I had sex or not?"

"You had sex with him!"

"Oh fuck me..." Ichigo smacks a hand down her face. "The bet was-"

"If you two were in love. But this is even better!" Rukia loops an arm around Ichigo's. "Was he all romantic?" Then her face fills with anger. "If he did something freaky I'll kick his ass!"

"It-it was normal! God!" Giving Rukia a wide smile she is filled with relief to be like this with her again. "He was really good to me." Taking the beaming happiness on Rukia's face she can't help but roll her eyes. "Everyone?"

"Oh... spreading faster than Omaeda's crabs that one time."

"Ewww, and damn it!" With a sigh she pulls on her hakama pants and her top. "I love him." she says after a few minutes of quiet.

"I'm so happy~!" Rukia finally pounces Ichigo knocking them both to the floor.

"Ugh, I'm being sexually assaulted by a crazy midget. How many people can say they have experienced this?"

"Well... I'll never tell and if he does." Rukia clinches a fist at Ichigo refusing to move off her. "Just promise to be happy!"

"I promise you crazed fangirl."

"Good." she says retreating to the bench and waiting for Ichigo to finish dressing.

"It's not going to be easy with me living in Soul Society now." With her face seeping with sadness she ties back her hair in a long braid. "I should have jumped him two days ago. I only got to do it once."

Rukia looks out of the corner of her eye pulling a scroll from her pocket. "Oh, and you have been summoned to this address." Walking toward the door her lips form a smile. "Right away, and that's an order."

"Yeah, yeah... enjoy outranking me for the next three months." Snatching the paper from her hand she enjoys the anger on Rukia's face. "HEHEHE!"

"You are graduating in three months? YOU BITCH!"

"Eh... Yama-jii said I just need to learn kidou and I'm in." Ichigo lifts her hand and forms a huge spirit ball three times normal size. "Today... Hinamori-san showed me how."

"You have complete control over your reiatsu now." Rukia opens the door and smiles. "You'll make captain before I even do." she says and sees Ichigo smiling wider. "YOU BITCH!"

"So hang out later?" Ichigo asks unaffected.

"Um... maybe tomorrow. I think tonight you might be busy..."

"O...kay?" Scractching at her head she opens the letter and lifts an eyebrow. "My mission is in Rukongai? Weird." With the days lessons over Ichigo flash steps over to the address. "What the hell?"

"I see you are speechless again..."

Turning around she blinks in shock seeing Kisuke with a white haori in the place where his black one was. "Y-You brought the entire shoten to Rukongai?"

"Well... they might need candy?" He says with a wide smile.

"You bastard! You should have told me! I was sad and depressed all damn day!" she yells lifting a hand out and grabbing his haori. "Hinamori actually cried just looking at me and you were here all along?"

"Awe. That is so cute." Kisuke presses a kiss to her nose. "Ichigo... you look so adorable right now. I-I think I'm going to perv and pounce you now."

"W-What?"

"Oh I know... Lets play chase. I will give you a three second head start." He covers his eyes and starts to count. "Ichigo... if I catch you... and I will catch you. I get to pick what to do with you."

"Do with... oh my god..." Ichigo vanishes leaving a puff of dust. "I gotta run!"

_**Twenty minutes later;**_

He found her in the Kuchiki manor, she escaped by faking and injury. Kisuke caught up with her at Central forty-six, she gave him the slip by yelling Aizen lives. And her next stop she dashes into the academy and down the hallway crashing directly into Toshiro. "Oh shit I'm sorry Toshiro."

"Kurosaki!"

"I-Im in a hurry I gotta hide!" she says helping him off the floor. "Must hide!"

"Room 115." Toshiro points a hand to a blank wall snapping his fingers. The invisible door appears and Ichigo dashes inside. "See... Kurosaki I have a sense of humor." He pulls out a sticker from his haori and smacks it over the door. "I'm hilarious."

A moment later Kisuke swooshes past the door, then pops his head back around the corner. "Ho~?" Creeping over to the glittery sticker of a juicy ripe strawberry, he places a hand on the wall and the door appears. "I have a secret helper..." he whispers opening the door and stepping inside.

"T-This room has no windows and only one exit!" Ichigo exclaims holding up an ordinary desk chair for a weapon. "Now back away... and no one gets hurt."

"I win! I win, win, win, WIN!" Kisuke flashes stepping over to her and pining her against the wall. "Reward me..." he says, then claims her mouth.

Instantly her lips open under his firm pressure, allowing his tongue inside. The chase made her heart race, and by the time he finally caught her she is churning to feel this mans body against hers. So she responds quickly to his kiss, her hands yanking at his haori and then his clothes underneath. Releasing the green top she fills her empty hands, by sliding them over his bare chest.

Kisuke allows his hands roam over her top, finding her breasts his thumbs circle over her covered nipples. He listens to the intake of breath before moving to yank her top over her head by the bottom hem. It doesn't even hit the ground when he starts kissing a wet path down Ichigo's throat, stopping here and there to suck on spots and lave his tongue over the reddened skin.

The woman arches into him and he wedges one knee between her legs, pressing their bodies together skin on skin, his rapidly hardening manhood brushing against her hips.

His fingers leave Ichigo's sensitive breasts for a second, nimbly unhooking her bra and pulling it off, to reveal two perfectly smooth, golden breasts with lovely perk nipples.

"Ah!" Ichigo can not resist uttering a small cry and arch against Kisuke's hard body, when he bends and claims one pink nipple.

She unconsciously slips one hand into blonde curls to keep him from stopping the wonderful sensations. Her breath slightly ragged, puffs of hot air as she feels him suckle on the very tip of her breast. Ichigo's other hand continues to travel lower until she reaches Kisuke's slim hips and her soft fingers slide towards his crotch. She feels his lips tighten for a second on her nipple, then a small bite sinking into her flesh showing his anticipation as she quickly unties his pants.

Kisuke wants to crawl out of his skin as she wraps her fingers around his cock and starts to slide along its length and experimentally squeeze. It feels so good that he can not resist thrusts into her soft hand. Releasing one very hard nipple, his mouth seizes the other one. He licks, around the nipple, over its tip and sucking the whole areola in his mouth.

Her fingers wrap more firmly around him, stroking him with escalating urge and Kisuke doesn't wait anymore. He wants Ichigo, right here and now. Pulling Ichigo up by her bottom he kisses her on the mouth, enjoying sucking on her bottom lip until it is swollen from his increasing desire. Ichigo instinctively wraps her legs around his waist

Three quick steps and he reaches the chair sitting down on it with Ichigo settling in his lap.

Anticipation suddenly fills her belly, her hands grip the back of the chair and she feels herself lifted up by the hips. With her legs open wide against Kisuke's hips, Ichigo feels his hardness.

The head of his cock bumps at her slit, she moves her hips toward it as he lowers her down over him. "Ah!" she moans from the hard length stretching her inner walls. The knuckles on her hands turn white as she grips the chair tighter yet, resisting the urge to moan some more as she slides down the thick length.

With his arms around her narrow waist he begins rocking forward, her warm heat coating his cock with delicious pleasure.

The first few delicious thrusts makes make him doubt he will last long. The grip and friction around his cock head is so much good his face contorts from the sensation overload. He relishes the sight of her warm brown eyes glazing with passion and her shining pink lips slightly open to gasp his name. Ichigo is so beautiful with her body helplessly writhing in his grip.

He continues driving into her, pulling her flush against his chest, allowing their needs to dictate the pace as they move together. Ichigo groans as her hips repeatedly meet his thrusts, her head tilting slightly backwards, giving Kisuke an opportunity to muffle his own sounds against her soft skin.

Lost in the throbbing spreading inside her body she presses her heels down on the foot rest of the chair and wraps her arms around his neck. Kisuke's hands clamp onto her bottom and they both thrust against each other wild with lust.

"Oh god!" Ichigo moans riding his cock as the pressure breaks inside her. "It's so good." she gasps, her hips convulsing through a climax.

"I feel you." he groans loudly, popping his cock inside her tight heat while she twitches around him. "Ohhhh." Harder he crashes her hips to his, faster he moves inside her until her breasts are bouncing and their breathing is jagged.

He is hitting just the right spot and the pace so fast she can't keep quiet. "Ahhh!" Her voice lilts high, her body tightening up even more.

Kisuke feels the collapse inside her, the hot gush of moisture, and the tremor of her pussy clamping down on him. "Hn!" Clutching at her shoulders he roughly thrusts his cock into her again and again until his skin sizzles with the need to come. "Hhhhhhn!" he moans from her body latching on and milking his climax out of him.

"AH! Yes!" she cries out wrapping herself around him chest. But she keeps writhing, the climax so powerful her toes curl up and her body shutters out another release.

Holding her against his chest he lets out a long sigh of contentment. Will Ichigo ever know... really understand she removed a thorn from his chest allowing him to live again. Because of her, he was able to leave behind the human world and reclaim his home, and get this incredible gift of her love. Now he walks back through hereafter, with a treasure more reward than the King himself had offered for his return. "I could not live again without you, Ichigo..."

* * *

Hey all! So I will say this story means a lot to me. The symbolism about growing up, making choices, living with the results. Weaving into the plotline specific scenes intended to make you think about Kisuke's part in the war and what his goals might have been. I used The scarlet letter as a symbol of sin with Kisuke, and was careful not to mention why he didn't just return to Soul Society. Even Pearl came into play as chibikisuke and the result of his experiements which can be view as the fruit of sin.

And then Ichigo's need to grow up, make a stand and confront her own feelings much like Dimsdale with his sin. Only I used her innocence in the place of sin. I hope you enjoyed it! How about a final review? HUGS Fuzzi^^


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